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post #338
bio: rich

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that week

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Hey, you're dating a cocksucker

Happy birthday J-Dub
Every now and then there is an evening so full of debauchery and good cheer that you feel that you can safely make it into one journal entry.
An evening that ends at sunrise, and involves Lawton singing little red corvette, doing a duet with MattyJ on careless whisper, and Neil Diamond's cracklin rose.

Lunar Eclipse
Did you watch that crazy moon thing? I missed the 'climax' because we were eating dinner, but before and after the moon was so nutty looking.

We had dinner at Pier 116 in Brooklyn with Eric, Big Dave, and Jumbles. Pier 116 does this New England-style clam shack thing with tons of seafood that is mostly fried - coupled with a wonderful section of imported beers.
I recommend the pop-tart and ice cream sandwich for dessert that got thumbs up from everyone.

Hi Party
The party started off very nicely. Lawton had everyone meeting at Magician in the LES, and it was a really nice turn-out. Lots of folks showed up and it was a fine shindig.
John got gifts. People bought him drinks.
It was a lot of fun.

I finally got my 'robot panties' that Adina had bought for me in.. Thailand (right?), which I wore on my head.
Now, to get Mrs. Robot to model them.




let's go karaoke
Our pal Eric calls us around 1am asking what we were up to. We told him to come back into the city and go do karaoke with us - and like the 'guy who likes to stay all night and sing karaoke' guy that he is, he hightailed it to our bar in about 30 minutes.

By 1:30, people are dropping like flies. For some reason I was not tired, and I think it had to do with my part werewolf background and the lunar eclipse.
Eric is with us. MattyJ is with us. Our pals Jayne, Josh, and Jessie (all 'j's?!) show up and we make plans to go up to 32nd street to a karaoke bar that they all love.
Our group splits into two and we hail some cabs. The first cab comes quick and we throw Eric and all the J's in that one and off they go.
The second cab takes a bit longer.

We are waiting around on the corner and it's nutty. Lots of cars. Lots of people.
I see a cab pull up and the driver kicks the passenger out - who was obviously quite the drunky.
The guy and his girl-pal are now wandering in the middle of the street trying to find another cab.

enter stage left: cocksucker
I flag down a cab and he pulls over. Mrs. Robot hops in and I hold the door for MattyJ and Lawton since I am riding up front.
Next thing we know, the drunk guy from 3 sentences ago opens the cab door on the other side and is trying to squeeze in with Mrs. Robot.
She tells him that this is our cab.

To be honest, I am not sure what is going on because they are in the cab and I am on the street, but I do know a few things...

Mrs. Robot tries to budge him and he gets all angry.
Testerone will totally wake your ass up, by the way. Not that I was sleepy, but I was then wide awake.
Something about someone messing with your wife will awaken long lost violent urges.

I run around to the other side of the car where the guy is and where his girlfriend is trying to slide in. My plan at this point - in my wild scotch, lunar eclipsed, testerone infused state - is to get his girlfriend out of the way, and to pull him out by his neck. It's been a long time since I was ready to just f*cking go at it.

His girlfriend didn't want to get out the way. I think I said something like, "Let me get in here for a second". As if I was sly enough she'd just step out of the way for my liberal arts educated fists of irony.

Fortunately for everyone involved, Mrs. Robot got out of the car, and the idiot drunk couple stayed in the car. I think Mrs. Robot wisely realized that it wasn't worth it.

MattyJ starts yelling at the driver for not doing anything (or something like that - ask matt) and says he will take his info and report the guy to the taxi commission folks. Oh, so now the cab driver is into it and yelling at us.

Now, keep in mind that we are in an intersection. There are cars all around us, and all the doors of the cab are open because when you are a drunk-ass-cocksucker who looks like the love child of that annoying Jessie from MTV and the Julian goofball from the Strokes.... You apparently don't think about closing doors.

The open doors are now blocking traffic and I just walk away which pisses off people in cars behind us who are having a hard time getting around the open door'ed cab.
People flip me the bird.

Finally, the idiots in OUR cab close the doors and we expect them to pull away any second, but they don't. They just sit there.
I forget whose line this was, but either MattyJ or Lawton knock on the window and tell the girl, "Hey, you're dating a cocksucker!"

We stand around the car still knocking on the windows and yelling at them. Why? I don't know. We tell them to f*ck off a lot.

The guy rolls down the window to say something and I spit on his face. That, my friends, is something I am not totally proud of.
But, I'd do it again.
With more vigor.

I see another cab coming and we all walk down the street a bit and hop in. As we pass our original cab, we see the driver kicking out cocksucker and his girlfriend.
Someone (again, was it Matt or John?) rolls down the window and says, "Hey, need a ride?"

Of all the nights to not have my brother or Evan (S) with us. They would have had fun with this whole situation.

We get to the Karaoke place 10-15 minutes late. They had already grabbed a room, beer, and delightful, yet foul smelling, shrimp snacks.
Everyone sings. Even me.
I think I did 'Baby got back' and 'What's New Pussycat' with Mrs. Robot.



Eric and I did a duet of the horrid Rembrandt's Friends theme song as sort of a final olive brand offering of peace between us.
Matt serenaded Josh like he did last year.
John belted a few.
Jayne, by the way, can sing the hell out of some karaoke. She should quit her day job.

Mrs. Robot's joke all night was to say, "Thanks, we're Sausalito" in homage to 'Lost in Translation'

At 5-something we decided to leave.

On the way home across the bridge, you could see the horizon getting light.
My head.

"liberal arts educated fists of irony"...hahaha...

panty on the head...that's the rage in Japan. How did you know?
»robot reader ||  11/9/2003 ||  11:48:15 PM
Weekends rock! Thanks for the call, I wish I had been up to receive it.
»mr. handsome.xls ||  11/10/2003 ||  8:50:04 AM
the panties are from Bangkok! great story (and st orytelling)
I wish I had been there. I would have sung "I'm a believer." hold tight, monkies.
»pony ||  11/10/2003 ||  8:51:01 AM
I would pay $100 to see/hear you and Mrs. Robot sing What's New Pussycat.
»chris ||  11/10/2003 ||  12:55:00 PM
fun entry. you kids....
»nate ||  11/10/2003 ||  1:25:48 PM
I TOLD you I should've gone home first to get the video camera.
»eric ||  11/10/2003 ||  3:11:37 PM
i'm so very jealous .... drinking, fighting, calling names AND Karaoke .... sounds like my Thursdays! ....

Happy B-Day Lawton!

»k ||  11/10/2003 ||  4:01:07 PM
Spitting in someone's face! I have dreams of doing that (actual dreams/nightmares-in-sleep, not waking fantasies.) Did you sorta have to work yourself up to do it, or what?

I, for one, have always wanted to find the right moment to throw a drink in someone's face.

»hali ||  11/14/2003 ||  9:30:38 AM
Wow, I just read this thinking it was recent, and was wondering who this other Eric fellow was. 2003! Damn! I was out on my own at 1:30AM back then!
»thewillhelm ||  11/9/2010 ||  8:58:36 PM

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