My Jihad Buddies

fazul abdullah mohammed
I dig his pre-teen mustache. Fazul is that guy I used to tell you all about... remember? The guy that drank all the bacardi and was running around the beach house crying and "talking to" his parents.
We got to sleep at like 5am that night.

amer el-maati
Of all the terrorists, this guy is the most annoying. Whenever you talk to him, there is always this little string of spit between his lips - it's really annoying. You sit there and find yourself staring at it the whole time.
You know what his favorite dish is? Iceberg lettuce with friggin cheddar cheese piled on top.

aafia siddiqui
Holy crap - she is sneaky.

adnan g. el shukrijumah
Meet the G. that killed me.
I shit you not - this guy works in my office.
He sits right over there.
He signs his emails as "-g" and refers to himself as 'g' all the time. Just the other day, he tells me, "You know who is going to hit the US hard? G is, bizatch!"
The good news is that he was laid off, so he's gone in two weeks. Convenient I suppose.

abderraouf jdey
OK, this guy scares the bee-jeezus out of me. Nonetheless, he played touch football with us when we were teens. These games would always get so heated that we'd all end up just duking it out.
He once twisted his ankle and made my mom take him to the ER.
For a twisted ankle?! Whatever.

ahmed khalfan ghailani
I went to school with this guy. Quick facts: He was the reason I got my first detention. The teacher said something like, "Everyone be quiet or else" and he turns and asks me if he could borrow a pencil. I said "sure" and the teacher was all like, "Young man, you have detention!".
Interestingly, that day, my grandfather passed away so I skipped the detention.
Later in middle school, we were both fans of U2 *and* the TV show Airwolf.
It's true!

adam yahihye gadahn
Did I see him at the Korn show? LOL! JK!
Oh, Adam - you're a terrorist now.
Hey, I bet your new friends don't know that you had a Captain America bike once. The jihad is being led by the same kid who spent almost everyday riding that stupid bike up and down the street while yelling, "Captain America... Awaaayyy!"
Dude, Captain America doesn't even say that. Granted, I don't know what he does say, but I will bet he doesn't say that.

«« (back) (forward) »»
political google bombs and mustaches lovely wedding and a sty in my eye

robot journal
Robot Journal

Previous Posts
The time Chris and Stu drove to Milwaukee
What would be in a happyrobot cocktail?
What the world needs now is a think piece about the pandemic
Music of Teens: K Tel's The Beat
The New Apartment: Brooklyn Bedding #BestMattressEver
The New Apartment: Things Bought IKEA PS 2014 Secretary Desk

›all comments

›post #404
›bio: rich

›first post
›that week

Lists of things

Category List
Apartment Buying in NYC
Bob Swanson
Election 2004
February Smackdown
Food and Drink!
Group Topics
I heart Brooklyn
Lists of things
Out of Context SMS
Rejected Love Stinks stories
Site News
Snap Wrap
Things I've Owned
This I believe