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post #547
bio: rich

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Dear man on floor in the cube next to me

Dear man on floor in the cube next to me,
You were quite the news item yesterday and caused an office stir when suddenly the EMS was there carting you away.
I hope you are feeling better.

I wanted to apologize for seemingly ignoring your plight yesterday.

This is the funny thing: People lying on the floor don't strike me as odd.

My father, bless his little heart, has suffered from back problems since the mid-80's. It all started when he got in a wrestling match with our 100lb. Golden Retriever who was trying to make inroads into the kitchen whilst my father was trying to keep the number of dogs in the kitchen to a maximum of zero.
They were at an impasse.

My father, ironically, was the state champion in collegiate wrestling back in his day.
Our dog, on the other hand, failed obedience school. No, really.

When my brother and I were younglings (and before his ill-fated dog wrestling) we would challenge my father to a wrestling match and quickly lose - often before we even finished asking him if he wanted to wrestle.
He was that good.

Me: Dad, you want to wre-
Dad: Pinned!

Well. I am exaggerating a bit. But, he was good enough to beat smart-ass five year olds.
(If you know my dad, you may find this all very funny since he comes off as a very non-wrestling type of person these days.)

OK. Dog wrestling. Dad hurts his back.
Over the years he has had operations and back pokings and tweakings and adjustings and operations but to no avail. His back is still crazy injured decades later.
That part isn't very funny.

The thing is...
He will lie on the floor a lot because the hard, flat surface makes his back feel a bit better.
It's cute when my brother's dogs are around because they get down there with him or stand over him and lick his face.

Ah, dogs. Is there anything they can't do?

Right. OK. Here I am walking past your cube and I see you on the floor.
You don't look like you are in pain. In fact, if I can push the blame a bit onto your pain filled self, I swear you smiled at me.
"Oh, yes. I'm just a $500/hr consultant just lying on the floor", you seemed to be saying (through pain stricken teeth).

To summarize
You are a skinny man with grey hair like my father. You were on the floor.
To me, that is not an odd situation. Hence, that is why I didn't freak out like a normal person would (and should).
If I had to do it over again, I would have freaked out on your behalf.

That's all.
Hope you are doing better.


It took a long time to get the EMS there.

This whole lie/lay lied/laid lying, laying thing drives me friggin nuts.

Clyde needs to get lied
»philo beddoe ||  2/15/2006 ||  12:58:26 PM
poor rich! i'd plead feng shui ignorance, too. you never know what those feng shui nuts are up to in their cubes.
»lisa ||  2/15/2006 ||  2:18:37 PM
»eve ||  2/15/2006 ||  2:24:44 PM
Would it have helped if he had a sign made out of glitter saying that he needed help? Or maybe flares? or those runway flags?

anyone on the floor in an office is just bizarre I mean have you seen how dirty those industrial rugs are TOTALLY GROSS!
»k ||  2/16/2006 ||  11:52:56 PM

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