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Robot Journal

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post #567
bio: rich

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that week

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The happyrobot global headquarters in Manhattan

It's been hard keeping this a secret for so long.
People ask, "why has your posting been infrequent?" or "it's almost like you have something on your mind that is so big and life-changing that it's hard to be your normal self and pretend nothing is amiss".

Those people, well, they talk too much.

But there are things amiss.
Big things.
For the past three years, our attorneys and financial teams at happyrobot have been working on getting our headquarters funded and set-up and just this week we drew up the final designs for the happyrobot global headquarters located here in manhattan.

As you can see the building is, as they say, "robot shaped". It will reside on a corner lot facing south (actual location has not been publicly announced yet) and unlike other robot shaped buildings, it will rock.

Here we see the street level of the building. The reflecting pool and actual grass will provide a serene space amongst the busy urban setting (as serene of a space can be with a giant robot on it I suppose).
Nate will be welcome to float around the fountain in a small boat if he desires.

The main entrance is located on the back side of the left leg and contains a single elevator bank that runs up the leg to the main floors. The elevator will feature the sound effect of a small japanese child exclaiming "Kancho!" upon the arrival to the "butt level" floor.

The "butt level" floor will feature space for the robot day care center and doggy day care. There will also be a refrigerator with delicious drinks.

The central office area is in the chest of the robot, with more offices and common areas in the head. The chest is covered with a combination of glass and glass bricks which gives the public a colorful view of the guts at night and lots of light for those inside.


At happyrobot, we like grass. Both kinds I suppose, but especially the lawn type.
That's why we have two outdoor spaces in our building. One on the head of the robot and one on the left shoulder.

The left shoulder deck (as well as the left arm) sticks out far enough that you have a view looking north and south on the neighboring street. This particular deck will be the space we'll use for the weekly happy hours and/or daily picnic lunches and/or monthly puppy playtime with scotch (puppies don't get scotch) and/or Alec's rockin' rock shows.

Since Stu will need an office, we have placed him in the special left-hand office.

Only accessible via a spiral staircase down the arm, Stu's office is suspended over the street with a great view looking north.
Stu shouldn't think that we are separating him from the rest of the office because his office is down there - it's a much better view. Stu also shouldn't think too much about the fact that Victoria will be placed in the right-hand office on the other side (She should stock up on Roomba Juice since there are a lot of stairs to climb).

Claim Your Space
We will be sending out detailed floorplans soon to the rest of our staff so that they can pick their own office locations. Please keep an eye out for that.

Not to be a jerk, but I am taking the office in the right-eye.
I mean, it's my robot and all.

Excellent. I'm so excited about my new office.
»jb ||  6/15/2006 ||  11:54:46 AM
I can't wait! This is so awesome. Can the robot relocate itself like an RV?
»pony ||  6/15/2006 ||  12:03:03 PM
does the robot office have a retractable wang? if so, i would like my office to be located in the retractable wang.
»chris ||  6/15/2006 ||  12:07:49 PM
Could we take turns working the gears for the building's Friday-Robot-Rampages up Hudson River Drive?
»jb ||  6/15/2006 ||  12:23:23 PM
Can I get a pole to slide down to my office, like in a firehouse?

Or a net at the bottom to jump into?

And when the robot rampages, will my office be in the smashing hand, or the crushing hand?

I love my new office!
»stu ||  6/15/2006 ||  12:31:47 PM
yeah, stu needs a pole to dance on.

he loves poles. that's why he lives in Greenpoint.
»chris ||  6/15/2006 ||  12:41:16 PM
Stu, your hand is the smashing hand, because we really don't have a crushing hand. yet.

As far as the rampages, that is still in the works due to some issues with the NY State DOT.

also: poles. ha.
»:r ||  6/15/2006 ||  12:44:25 PM
Does he pee into that pool between his legs?
Also, can I request not to be seated near the bowels like I have been at every other job I've had?
»dorf ||  6/15/2006 ||  1:45:31 PM
if chris gets to be in the wang, can I be in the beanbag? I will be our first defense against surprise finals, and when it gets cold, my office will suck in closer to the main body.

Cremasters of the Universe, yo.
»3pk ||  6/15/2006 ||  1:56:59 PM
It looks like the robot peed
»j ||  6/15/2006 ||  1:58:15 PM
Is there temporary space for the west coast people when they come into town?
»j ||  6/15/2006 ||  1:59:10 PM
yay new office!
»eve ||  6/15/2006 ||  2:34:30 PM
Can I be on the top floor near the left cerebral lobe? Or right? It doesn't matter what side I just need to be as far far away from the day care center on the butt floor as possible. Thanks!
»k ||  6/15/2006 ||  2:43:21 PM
yes, of course we'll have little "hot" desks for West Coasters to plug into.

And you can all be where ever you want to be. I am also happy that you noticed the pool.
»:r ||  6/15/2006 ||  3:23:47 PM
and now i am moving back to new york. (seriously)
»mina ||  6/15/2006 ||  9:17:31 PM
I'm late....I'd like the neck.
»jason ||  6/16/2006 ||  2:37:48 PM
Where's the water slide?
»anne ||  6/17/2006 ||  12:30:08 PM
i WILL paddle about the pool, and i'd like to be somewhere in the chin please.
»n8 ||  6/18/2006 ||  10:28:28 AM
and i want to play tennis on his head.
»n8 ||  6/18/2006 ||  11:16:19 AM

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