Oh Jury Duty Apparently I am not judgmental enough as I wasn't picked for a jury during my foray into jurious dutious this past Friday. The best thing about jury duty (I mean other than the hours sitting on the hard benches) is the unvarnished look at your fellow citizens.
No bones about it - these are your fellow Brooklyn residents and they generally look like crap.
These are the popular types of people I saw 1. Women dressed like hookers
2. Women dressed in outfits that could be best described as way too small old white t-shirts with holes and rhinestones complemented by a massive dose of butt crack on the lower back half creating a look that made me want to become gay
3. Enthusiastic white men
4. Token pretty girl
5. Cranky twenty-somethings
6. Old men with t-shirts that had somewhat ironic phrases on them, but you figured that they wore them with little irony.
To be fair The courthouse in Brooklyn looks like crap as well (although Mrs. Robot went to the new one and she said it was quite fancy).
Where are you Fat Tom??? Fat Tom was not there. They called his name and he just never showed up. I saw his card: Fat L. Tom
See, I thought Fat would be spelled something like Phat or Faht or Foatt or Xat - but no. It was the old F A T.
Dear Fat Tom, We missed you. Are you really fat? Do you like my old roommate Tom? Signed, Juror Robot #23
My case Oh, *my* case. It was a medical malpractice suit involving a doctor removing the wrong arm. No, it wasn't. It had something to with some woman's pee-pee. Both my parents have jobs that are involved with hospitals and/or law and/or teaching hospital law so I thought that would be a great aspect to mention when they talked to me. But they never did. No interview. I just sat there with two grumpy Russian guys who would crack jokes in Russian every time the attorney said something. It was like being in the 5th grade. In Russia.
The best part After being dismissed, I went to the store and bought ice cream and milk and made myself a milkshake. I don't have a yard so I have no idea if it would of brought any boys into it.