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"so you do believe in eugenics."
She had just told him the reason she never had chosen to have children was because she didn't want to revisit the sins of the father onto the innocents, and she didn't have any help nor did she know how to navigate alone loving herself and thus the world enough to knowingly bring spawn into it.
his words cut her like the same knife he had embedded with
"I don't really like your music."
All of it.
She could use all of it as a knife.
She was drinking tequila and soda because it was the only thing on hand she had for him always. But it was just anything. Her tipple was just a conduit toward that loose feeling of "I don't think about it so much now."
Of course, for her it was different. She was a nebulous thing who wept at the drop of a tear... salt water had just emitted from her eye imagining that he thought she was detritus.
Would it be possible to send him this and have him love her?
Not really. Too much ugly had been exposed. this was now a secret until the nuclear bomb time.
And she had written in the green hypocrite leather bound diary "when did she get to come." "when did she get to call him?"
For this, she would have to utter some words. And she considered him avoidant and didn't want to driver 8 him away.
But she would have to be herself eventually. With fucking Andrew, it had been a constant farce, but she hadn't loved Andrew. she loved noel.
she loved that he even knew their names were so the same and that she would really appreciate jack white and loretta Lynn.
the reason she got so jealous of heather and the whisper of someone he loved, it was because she though she was ice cream on a hot day. She would be ephermal and shat out.
She had sent him several gambits today which he had ignored, and the evening sun sunk.
without any doubt, she wished she lived with him and he had said "I love you".
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