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"really, you'd take him back? he's such the patriarchy, and you're the universe. He's a kid. you're the teacher. doesn't that bore you. I had a relationship that I got out of that sounds similar."
Narcissi doesn't say so, but she's paid this old friend $125 to yes indeed tell her that this man will come back to her and that he loved her. please. but it was embarrassing to say say twice.
Narcissi also doesn't say that her psychic friend said something similar two years ago when she'd paid her before. oh well. it was always a mental massage.
psychic stuff.
She drank a sip of coffee
the last of her instant supply from Aldi.
she hadn't gone to the grocery store in months - since stocking up for one of his visits - maybe his last visit. Since then, she's just been macon's best tipping uber eats client. she's glad that it goes to a human - not a robot - the two dollars.
spring
spring spring
what to say
she loves knowing everything about him. this morning, she even made up some listening of some 70's song out of his mother's clock radio - something like "I'm going back some day come what may to blue bayou."
It didn't matter much. The only memory that she had enjoyed had been ones that involved him.
she loved to romanticize Florida.
as she would.
she loved to romanticize ice cream. she remembered him saying
"all of your clothes have a story to tell."
he said it it like she was some cliche.
she countered that everything around her could be linked to an item that survived the war.
a war.
spring always felt magical to her
I mean, weren't you dead if you didn't feel
it was his birthday month.
the Georgia o'keefe flower was dark purple.
"I like my coffee in a clear pub glass with just enough milk - sometimes cream - sometimes 2% - always organic. for you, let's put three spoons of coffee and you make it too hot. put two cubes of ice in it."
"I love you."
why
"I can't wait to spend my life telling you."
--
instead, she woke up today and had a happy moment because she felt like she was in a different person's body.
but it was hers and the same stuff
different breath.
she recalled and wore the Coca Cola red toe nail polish
the brown reef flip flops
the Clearwater shirt
it was turned backwards today - a nice old school washed navy blueish.
the new cat she didn't want Dobby was purring and pacing on the desk. The curiosity got him, and dang if he didn't go out the open-screened window, but he came right in.
She had used the Mexican blanket table cloth as a litter cover for Edith's box and had taken it to the beach. they had not thrown any balls. she had written about it before, but the moment she always loves - for some reason - is going to ocean by herself and seeing her red toe nails and the clear water. She enjoys time away from him with him.
==
it was now over three months since he departed after depleting whatever it had been without another word.
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