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The beer was in her fridge. It was a Guinness. She had been pretentious since she'd been to Ireland IRL - as she'd told you. She'd told you everything. Nothing was real though. She told you everything she thought she could that could make you feel good and not completely violate her. Oh, maybe she completely violated herself all the time.
So many
swirling things.
The thing that had set her off today had been seeing the meme for some movie she'd never seen "LaLa Land" and that the love was great but not to be. For some reason, it made her claustrophobic like the drama queen she was.
---
earlier
-
they were walking in the Brunswick forest. he liked to walk in unpaved woods.
she loved trees like a religion.
she had thought it all fit, and she trudged behind him.
beaming.
they rounded a corner full of a march with dead grey sticks of trees poking out. - a salt dead forest.
she didn't care. he was here with her.
she was in the place she loved the best in all the world.
she was with people she trusted who would kill him for her.
and then they saw a kite festival in Carolina beach.
it was surreal.
she wanted to debauch with him their last night.
he said no.
she said yes.
they broke up of course.
but before they did and after this -
on her birthday
they went to a different forest named after her high school best friend.
they got lost in it and went in the rough before they turned around to the safer path.
she fucking missed him like a dam.
but the thing she chose now was getting her boob touched by
someone who wanted to...
and she knew this one didn't care about her thoughts either, but
it was just a spell
for a spell
and god she was grateful
she almost drowned
in the
whatever it was.
for now, she was smoking the last of the professor's gifted pot and was going to
breathe
it was Mother's Day tomorrow.
she had given earrings.
last year, she had been in Ireland.
life was wild
perhaps.
the hardest thing was when she thought the last time she had seen him and that she would never see him again
it fucking
fucked her up
there was a beer in the fridge.
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