It was another dream about Kent. We were in this beige-wooded, white minimalist room with a sliding glass door and a patio. He was cheating on his girlfriend with me. I was unattached. I was mulling about what I was going to do with my life – a bit hopeless at our situation, but knowing that there was no out for me. I had to be connected to him. I was half-heartedly playing hockey on the wooden floor. I had wooden bladed skates and a wood stick. He was on the white bed feeling trapped in his overt relationship.
Then I left on a boat. I think I had first overlooked the lake from a cliff. It was vaguely turquoise and mostly round. I climbed around on the various topographies of the cliff for a while. I remember one of the topographies was a rocky plateau reached by scaling a small incline. It had roundish bowl-shaped indentions in it from years of water erosion. The water in it was acidic I had heard. I realized that this place was deemed dangerous – especially for women. Not really from fear of the place, but from that preconceived notion, I turned back.
I went to the lake and got in a canoe. There was a rough patch of surf at the edge of the portion of the lake I was in. The boat tipped over or I abandoned it. I swam away from this danger. I remember being calm because I was alone and wasn't afraid of death as my life was so uncertain. I swam to another area of roughness. This area caused me a bit of fear. The waves were singular and turbulent. I could get sucked to the bottom and drown. I got trapped in a current and swam away from it in a pependicular manner. I had another notion that the men or a man would be angry at me for doing this men's task?
There was a rescue party formed for me. Kent was now a blond, golden child. He was with the party to photograph the event. I swam to the dock/shelter by myself not needing this rescue.
I was berated by a brown-haired 40-ish man. He tried to take credit for rescuing me and was scolding me on the dangers of what I had done. Kent, the child said that my prescence sitting there was evidence that I had pulled through fine.
I then noticed a large picture on an easel that the child had painted. It was a flowery tree/vine-y thing. At the side and base of the picture was myself and him. He was embracing me and I was sort of a mother to him. It was a very loving and comforting image. I had regret that it would take him time to grow up and be my lover. This painting (and I was a bit surprised that it wasn't a photograph) had an inscription on it: but I don't remember what it was – something astrology and gemini...and obvious. Klar.
Wednesday, June 2, 2004
Although my discipine hasn't kicked in to high gear about immediately writng my dreams down, I do remember that they seem to come in stages of three. I can't remember the first stage, but it was pleasant. It was hard to awaken from my dreams. I was happy.
The second stage involved Greg Gulas. We were in his house discussing school...
INSERT: School is a recurring dream theme... not being finished.
We got high even though we knew it was useless. Then Kent came over. We had a bit of a tete a tete with kent. I was considering going home to see my mum, but decided to stay as it seemed all a bit of fun.
Then sandy and allison came over. I tooled around the neighborhood on my bike feeling a bit left out, but at that point I didn't care.
Then Wendy came into the diner where we were. Kent had previously been feeling lively and fine, but after her inane visit (she was hoping to meet up with him and to prove it she was even wearing stripes to match his)... I got a cilantro cola with "the taste of california". Mike was in the corner. I bought a meal and stayed in the diner?
It's all a bit stupid to even write it because I remember so very little at this point.