I've separated myself from the tangled skien of my lover and mark.
The part with Mark actually felt very comfortable and correct. We didn't even have our goodbye dinner. I think we were both just bone weary from the upheavals and sadness and old patterns.
The lover was a bit harder/is a bit harder. It took everything in my bag (and a fortuitous loss of internet ability) to not freely beg to start the breather later. 38 days is longer than 28. However, I held to the pact (pretty much 99.7%), and stayed with myself and only myself this entire weekend.
This is good for me?
Monday - today - is the worst. I don't have my head on, and I can think of few things more than the loss.
May will arrive soon, and I think it will be easier to bear. I can at least last until Thursday and the shrink. AT LEAST.
Why not? It was a strangling thing that must be looked at.
Now you know.
Muscle Beach, strengthening of character, and walking? that's for later. This weekend, I just sat and read and told myself I was good company. It was the best I could muster.