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So, I've gone and done it.
I've separated myself from the tangled skien of my lover and mark.
The part with Mark actually felt very comfortable and correct. We didn't even have our goodbye dinner. I think we were both just bone weary from the upheavals and sadness and old patterns.
The lover was a bit harder/is a bit harder. It took everything in my bag (and a fortuitous loss of internet ability) to not freely beg to start the breather later. 38 days is longer than 28. However, I held to the pact (pretty much 99.7%), and stayed with myself and only myself this entire weekend.
This is good for me?
Monday - today - is the worst. I don't have my head on, and I can think of few things more than the loss.
May will arrive soon, and I think it will be easier to bear. I can at least last until Thursday and the shrink. AT LEAST.
Why not? It was a strangling thing that must be looked at.
Now you know.
Muscle Beach, strengthening of character, and walking? that's for later. This weekend, I just sat and read and told myself I was good company. It was the best I could muster.
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