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Donations Wanted: C/O Homeland Security

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Mr. FTR is not overtly political. To be honest, I really don't warm up to anyone unless I've seen them naked, or, at least, in a bathing suit, (why I loved President Clinton so). Perhaps I have Politician Anxiety Disorder or something, but I imagine there are many like me. So many of us, in fact, instead of a disorder, it's plain normal. Not sure what the cure is, but I've noticed many with the affliction wind up moving to Idaho or Utah and homeschooling their kids, or after imploding their presidential campaign, running the Democratic party.

Anyhoo, I know most of middle America reads happyrobot, so I appeal to you, enough is enough with this Homeland Security funding nonsense. Forget the legislation for now; forget that according to the law, your little 'burg or 'ville or Mayberry (my ancestral home) had every right to apply for funding for those hazmat suits or bomb sniffing dogs or night-vision goggles or fleet of helicopters, and forget the profiteers that came out of their creepy hidey holes to help you fill out the forms and place your orders. Forget how cool that gear looks on you and your friends, how shiny the paint job is on that fortified black Escalade. Set your pride aside, use your head and your heart and just send the cash and equipment to the cities that need it. I live in one of them, sure, so maybe I'm not so selfless, but like I said, Mayberry's my ancestral home, and I know Andy would do the right thing. I'd like to think I would. Remember that episode when Barney wanted all those new laser-guided telescopic 50-gauge rifles and Andy made him put his bullet back in his pocket? Well, neither do I, but they were all like that.

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post #106
bio: john ball

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