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post #63
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bio: victoria


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thou speakest words against Athena
Friday, February 11, 2005

› by victoria

the title comes from this old computer game we had on our compaq back in 1992 (ah, the happy days of yore) it was called "Widget Workshop." I LOVED that game. You could use various Rube Goldberg-esque devices to construct little virtual machines that made sounds or animations as the final result of much silly-machine-construction. My older sister, who was studying classical Greek and Latin at the time (and she's 5 years older than me, so if in 1992 I was 8, she would be 13) decided that she was going to educated us (Me + my younger sister) through Widget Workshop. So we ended up making Ancient Greek widget workshops that said some kind of dialogue from Socrates or one of those ancient greek writers. I still remember lines from it, which is absolutely insane... one of them phonetically sounded like this "Etay moi huay ara philasme?" (Do you really love me, oh my son) and another line I still remember is "Arion se philaso!" (Yes, you are my son!) or something like that. It was a dialogue about this father who needed to be reassured that his son still loved him--I can't remember if this was the same dialogue that involved ancient greek insurance fraud being perpetuated by people smashing their ships to get money, but it was a long time ago. Anyways, me and my younger sister thought that was cool but we liked being silly and wasting time better than actually learning (ha ha, just kidding, but it was probably true in the case of my younger sister) so we made our own Parody-Ancient-Greek-Dialog widget. It was hilarious. We used all these silly little vocal boxes, so that when we came out with lines like

"Hecola Moi moi!" (*which I made up, but which actually does sound greek)
It would be in a Suuuper-sloooww deeep voice.
which made the lines
"Thou Speakest Words Against Athena!"
even funnier.

My mom thought we were having too much fun with the game, so she deleted it.
However, I still have a lot of funny computer stories.

Yesterday when I came home from work BF was making some really cool synth/experimental drum n' bass song. it was really good. unfortunately, my back hurt (I have decided to stop carrying all this heavy stuff around in both a heavy backpack AND a heavy tote bag, it's insane. I carried 120 Kilos once down a mountain (and hefted them up a hella lot of stairs), but that was in Italy when I was fueled by rage, fear, exhaustion, and terror of being attacked by a crazy crack-ho who was on the trip as well. but that's another story, if you want me to tell it, it's even has Robin in it. who did I call when I was scared of being attacked by a crack ho at like, 3 AM in the morning? Robin. Yeah, here's a virtual hi-five to ya). Anyways, BF is still cranky from withdrawal--I hate this stop smoking crap, I am trying to be supportive but it is most frustrating to have good-natured BF be all fidgety and withdrawn--so we went for a walk to get some stuff like milk, etc. We wanted to go to the really cool coffeeshop, I knew that would make us both feel better, so we walked over to Brewing Grounds and it had a "Come in,We're Open" sign on the door but it was CLOSED. The door was LOCKED. And I was pissed off and dissappointed. So we went to Comet instead, but I didn't want the coffee I got and it tasted like creosote water. Drank only half of it, gave up. Euuh. We didn't stay there long. If you have ever seen the really excellent movie "The Station Agent", BF was in a disposition like that of the movie's the main character Flynn McBride on the walk home. I was just so exhausted that I ended up crying and crying. Not very smart (ha ha, go me) but yeah, I got over it and we calmed down, and we watched THE OC while eating tortilla chips. And then, because I had rented it, we watched STAY HUNGRY, Arnold Schwarznegger's first movie appearance. Sacre BLEU, was that movie awful. The only movie I have seen which compares equally with it in randomness and disturbing stuff and lack of plot is the legendary Sean Connery sci-fi movie Zardoz . We laughed so hard that I completely forgot about my achine spine (upper-middle quadrant--and yeah, my back is kinda twisted out of shape but it's hard to notice unless I take off my shirt and stand up straight, I twisted it out of shape when I was a kid by carrying a way too heavy bag on one shoulder, then playing the viola all through highschool).
But the most disturbing bits of the movie?

1.) The scene where William, the elderly African-American housekeeper/cook for the main protagonist Jeff Bridge's wealthy southern home, comes into the room going "Yessuh?" and wearing a paper bag on his head, a towel around his waist, and walking in a very strange way... We couldn't believe how racist this movie was, on the other hand, it was set in Alabama.
2.) The scene where the gym owner "Thor" invites in 2 really ugly hookers and they start doing really crazy shit in the gym. It was messed up; nobody should have to see an elderly guy whip off his toupee and his leotard at the same time. ::shudders::

1.) Thor and the hookers. this goes without saying. the william part was pretty atrocious too. so it's a tie.
2.) Satin-shirt wearing Arnold schwarznegger air-bowing the violin to play old-style bluegrass, yee-haw. At a hoe-down.
3.) 5 scantily clad, heavily oiled musclemen posing on top of a city bus. this will give me nightmares for years.
4.) Sally Field's untanned butt. Why so much nudity? WHY!?!
5.) The waterskiing dog with banjo music. That is all I have to say.

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