Monday, November 1, 2004
Prospective voters: buyer, beware
As November first looms to a close, and the ugly first-tuesday-of-every-fourth-year approaches, I would like to take this time to exert my... clout, and give a dissertation of the democratic process.
We all know the polls, and the statistics, but I think it's safe to say that pretty much everybody who can use a computer with any fluency, much less keep up a website and/or "blog," will not be voting for George Bush tomorrow.
Why, do you ask? Ask. Ask and I'll tell you. I'll give you a second.
Okay. Because in order to use a computer, and I don't mean for Excel or Word or expense reports or "data entry", you must have a certain measure of intellegence. In order to read, you must also have intellegence. In order to, let's say, run a country for four to eight years, you must also have intellegence.
Lemmie adjust that. In order to run a country effectively.
People who'd vote for George Bush do not, unfortunately, possess intellegence. I mean, look at the people you see at the pro-Republican rallies. They also moonlight on Cops. Tell me I'm wrong.
So, when you're standing behind the black curtain tomorrow in whatever respective state you're respectively voting in, thoughts of Sting's Roxanne going through your head (put on the red, put on the red, put on the red light) I want you to reflect on this very well-known fact.
Smart people don't vote Bush.
You might think you're smart, you might've graduated with full honors from, perhaps, Yale, you might design high-trajectory low-propulsion rocket systems in your spare time, but believe me, if, come 6 AM tomorrow you click the wrong lever, your IQ level will inadvertantly drop by, like, fifty Happiness points.
Tomorrow isn't about the "issues", it's not about "Iraq", it's about, simply, getting an electorial wax-job. Trimming the bikini-line. Because he had his turn to prove that he wasn't a fuck-up, and despite all of daddy's help he wasn't able to. Now it's someone else's turn to play President for a day.