There was a 45 year old man in television who died at his desk yesterday on the 6th floor. Just expired.
Now I am so scared of not being able to find a new job, but this news puts it all into perspective.
I want to travel. I want my life to be about joy. I want a new experience that will separate now/then or before/after. A demarcation point that is not informed by a boyfriend or a job.
The speed of my life seems to be accelerating each year. I want to play with time a bit. I am having more and more moments where I am so sick of everything - my street, my apartment, and esp. my job. It all reeks of nauseating sameness.
It is as if we cache the familiar in our minds and just call up the known instead of trying to see it as new. And I want to clean out my cache, I guess.
So all this talk of Africa or India - that's what it is all about. In case you were wondering.