When I was 13 years old and had brand new body parts and freshly-de-braced teeth, I was delighted by boys who would throw me over their shoulder caveman style and pretend to steal me away.
Some fracture occured when I hit 14, and instead of shrieking delightedly, I began to growl: 'put me the fuck down'. I did not like it when boys tried to throw me off balance. Men who continued that groping behaviour undoubtedly went on to date serial pouters who devote a great deal of time to hair removal. But i am being mean.
Since then, I have tried to seek out more egalitarian scenarios in life. But the past year or so I have noticed this habit I have upon meeting women for the first time: I inevitably compliment her on some item of clothing: "nice jeans" or something just as inane. As though I am seeking some safe common denominator. It is pathological. I could meet my favourite writer and begin our conversation with: "great necklace."