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post #401
bio: stu

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Towards a Comprehensive Theory as to the Fate of Prince's Guitar
By now you've seen the footage. It's been plastered all over the internet. I've seen no certain explanations. But the question must be asked: What was the fate of Prince's guitar after his performance of "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame performance?

The moment in question, in Gif form:

The Magic Guitar

There are many theories. Only time can tell us which one is true. But here are my top four contenders.

  • That guitar was crafted from the bone from the opening of "2001," and when thrown was transformed into a satellite of love that is currently orbiting us right now, bouncing radio signals communication songs of pure sex around the world which are intelligible in any language and can be heard even by the deaf.
  • Or, knowing that he would one day die, that he was mortal like all the rest of us even though he was not like all the rest of us, Prince played his solo and then tossed his guitar directly into heaven, knowing that they would one day be reunited and he and David Bowie would need something to jam on.
  • The guitar simply disintegrated after he'd used it, reduced down to component molecules after Prince had used up its very essence in playing Music. It was reduced to dust and inhaled by the audience at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Everyone in that audience would go on to impregnate someone or be impregnated within a month. Those kids are eleven now, and they are telepathically linked, fabulous, and will usher in a new Age when they reach puberty and the age of consent.
  • There was no guitar. The orgone energy produced by Prince's libido was what was being played, and the waves of ecstatic sensual joy brought by his skillful manipulation of mass/energy brought us to this moment. This was done with no muss or fuss or even a guitar. It is merely a beacon reverberating forwards and backwards through space time, a bold declaration that even though this age has brought us Trump, all is not lost, and humanity can love and be loved.

As a bonus, here's an example of what that looks like when a move like that goes so so wrong, with Krist Novoselic throwing his bass up in the air and catching it with his face.

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