Post-Modern Drunk: Gotta Collect It All!
Things I have collected in my time.

• Baseball cards until I was caught stealing from my favorite baseball card shop (remember when that was a thing!) and then was too embarrassed to ever go back.
  
• Comic books.
  
• Regular books, preferably all with the same edition and cover art
  
• OK Cola cans.
  
• Absolut Ads
  
• VHS then DVDs then Blurays
  
• Magic The Gathering Cards
  
• Various suits of armor and matched weapons within World of Warcraft.

I'm not touching Pokemon Go. I'm terrified of Pokemon Go. If I get anywhere near Pokemon Go I know I'm not capable of stopping. I'm not sure I'm even capable of slowing down. Ten years ago I spent literally 8 hours a day playing video games and collecting suits of armor and grinding out levels and armor and reagents and stuff.

Pokemon Go is a dagger aimed directly at my ability to be an adult, a Sword of Damocles designed to sever me from my hard-won ability to function as a 37 year old man and if I try to catch them all--hell, if I try to catch even one--I'm gone. It will all be for naught and I'll be hip deep in [common Pokemon characters] and searching for my next [rare Pokemon character] fix.

I can't even research a proper Pokemon joke to fill in the blank for fear it might tip me over.

I salute all of you out on the streets leveling up your characters or fighting for gyms. I'm not saying it's not for me. I'm saying it is for me, and I need to stay away lest I lose this version of me which I love only go become what I once was.

Stay strong.

-Stu

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