New  »   Sunshine Jen  ·  Post-Modern Drunkard  ·  Poop Beetle  ·  Robot Journal  ·  Gator Country
Search...
3 is the magic number
 
«« past   |   future »»


comments[2]
all comments

post #248
bio: stu
perma-link
2/18/2009
16:14

wish list
archives
first post
that week
my links
XML/RSS






Favorite Things
drinking
· The Flaming R. Kelly
eating
· Malfatti
listening
· Johnny Cash
reading
· Chuck Klosterman
watching
· Deadwood, Seasons 1 & 2


Previous Posts
Notes on Sobriety
Republicans Are Tough Guys
Brain Fog
Clown Posse
Uber, but For Wrong Numbers
On the Greatest Political Satire of the 21st Century



February Smackdown

Category List
Alcohol
CSA
Favorites
February Smackdown
Hospital
Literary Shit
Mad Craziness
Portmanteau
Random 10
Stupidity
Women


 


Bourbon Skills and/or Assets
Stu
Post-Modern Drunkard
The Internet

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

1998-Present: Drinker of Bourbon/Rye
Responsibilities:
  • Consumed roughly one liter of bourbon a week.
  • Coordinated mixing of bourbon with ice, coke, coffee, etc.
  • Integrated bourbon consumption with daily activities, such as showering, videogame playing, interpersonal relationships, and sleeping.
  • Reconciled interplay of bourbon, food, and cigarette smoke, with an eye towards drunkenness and not vomiting.
  • Owes three first dates (or reasonable facscimiles thereof) to bourbon, resulting in over four years of relationships and counting.
  • Posted somewhere between 150 and 180 "blogs" on happyrobot, out of a total of 249 posts thus far
1998-2002: Beer drinker/Drinking Game Competitor
Responsibilities:
  • Proficient in drinking games involving dice, cards, red cups, and ping pong balls
  • Developed ability to learn new games quickly and adapt to changing rules adeptly
  • Developed stomach capacity for copious cheap beer consumption
  • Managed alcohol tolerance for marathon drinking game sessions
  • Nevertheless managed to graduate from college nearly on time
1997-1998: Drinker of Bailey's Irish Cream
Responsibilities:
  • Managed a burgeoning curiosity to try alcohol with a childish desire for sweets
  • Experienced girl drink drunk.
SKILLS, ASSETS, AND ADDITIONAL TRAINING
  • Works well in sustained independent and collaborative drinking experiences
  • Competent with vodka, Jaegermeister, gin, rum, kahlua, and other essential spirits
  • Proficient with wine, absinthe, and scotch
  • Experience with drink mixing, both via shaking and/or stirring
  • Skilled in new drink acquisition and consumption
  • Proficient in liquor store identification and alcohol purchasing






  • «« past   |   future »»