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post #493
bio: rich
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6/10/2005
11:07

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White. Not White. White. Not White.

The White Strips
I imagine in the future historians will look at television clips and photographs from this time period and laugh at that point in time when we all discovered teeth whitening gels and strips and other do-dads.

"Oh, look. Those barely evolved monkey people all made their teeth white."


They will be watching slides of historical events or what-not and will go back and fourth at the first glimpse of whitened teeth.
"See. Watch this. White teeth."
*click*
"Not white"
*click*
"White"
*click*
"Not white"

Then all laugh uproariously in their silvery unisex one piece suits.

"Silly monkeys!"


Nightmare
What I fear will happen is that in a decade or so, doctors or scientists or chiropractors will discover that teeth whitening is the cause of ebola or sore backs or flammable death gas.
This will be even worse because future people who are showing photos of their long dead relatives will go through a period of "normal" teeth which will be followed by a period of oddly white teeth and then followed by somber "normal" teeth.



Business up front. Party in the back.
My teeth are like brown or black or olive or green. Let's get that out in the open.
Recently I have found myself talking to someone at a meeting or lunch or during a bathroom liaison and noticing that their teeth are white up front, but not in the back.
Due to those white strip things not going all the way back.

It's like a dental mullet.

I stare at the little brown teeth next to the white ones. Are the brown ones jealous of their white neighbor who is all clean and sparkling - and in the front where everyone can see them.



Back Teeth
I imagine them as the tough guys in my mouth.
"Yea, you guys up front have fun getting clean and all - I got carrots to crush"

I bet they are bad mother...
I'm talking about back teeth





I recently worked on an interview with a person of some notoriety, and he had what I believe are those teeth veneers done. It's just SO very wrong looking. His teeth are uber-white, AND they kinda stick out just enough to make him look kinda buck-toothed. And what's more, you can hear it when he talks! Why would anyone want their teeth to be THAT white? Especially with side effects like that?
»willhelm ||  6/10/2005 ||  1:05:44 PM
I tend to be frightened by the fake tan and super white teeth...s-c-a-r-y.
»binx ||  6/10/2005 ||  4:04:12 PM
having someone look at one's mouth while you are talking to them is disconcerting. I used to know there were people who seemed like they were listening- but . . . maybe they disagree? Maybe I am missing something here and they're waiting for me to discover it on my own? Then I realized (actually it was pointed out by someone else)- they are mouth watcher people.
»anne ||  6/10/2005 ||  5:52:50 PM
p.s. nothing wrong with that, btw- just thought I would share.

»anne ||  6/10/2005 ||  5:54:35 PM
p.p.s. my teeth are not white. Maybe folks are thinking "why doesn't she get her some strips?"
»anne ||  6/10/2005 ||  5:57:44 PM
"I hate the beach. What's the big deal? It's where dirt meets water. And everyone there has tan skin, white teeth. I'm the opposite. White skin, tan teeth." - Bill Hicks.
»stu ||  6/10/2005 ||  6:40:49 PM



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