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Oy vey.
I'm surviving. I'm reeling. I was going to call this piece "Mojo Lowering", but I decided that I liked starting with:
I threw away the toothpaste that you bought me in Florida. It was almost out anyhoo.
It made me feel bad for the waste, yet it made me feel euphoric for the symbolism.
Look, my boundaries are so shitty, I have two cats in this house lounging around hiding from the winter. It would have been really hard for me to think myself worthy of demanding that you "fuck yeah!" me.
I guess you've given me my comeuppance.
Congrats. I've felt like shit for quite a long bit.
I keep gagging on something you said:
"Oh shit, we can never go there again because they recognized us."
It took me a while to understand what you meant - why would you care if some podunk macon place recognized us or not.
but the part that bit was that you didn't want to be seen as a couple with me in any way - no matter what the town - unless it was a one-off.
Made zero sense to me, but it oddly it does to you. To you, it established that you are official with me - this wouldn't be a passing fancy - we'd be perceived as together.
again and again
whatever
It's been hard for me to hate you because I think you're so fucking cool with your big brain, your tragic backstory, your famous acquaintances, your cool sons, your puzzles, your walks in the unpaved woods... but fuck it.
I'm going to try.
You were a shallow man.
(BTW, the new toothpaste is so much better - fresh - no gel)
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