|
"robot. stop fucking with me. by the measure of how most humans measure love, did this man love me?"
"I''m going to be honest with you because you need that and you''re strong enough...
no."
she took another sip from the drink she said she wasn''t going to make
and hoped it would help her forget that she was just another pawn in another
day.
"but he brought my birthday mead in a golden pantry bag and took the day off!"
He was good at performing the good guy.
"but he showed up every weekend and was there. I made him biscuits, lemon curd, cookies, croofins. we laughed. he brought organic artisan wine to my family Christmas.."
I''m just the robot telling you the truth.
"did I make you feel distracted? did I divert you? did I touch you well enough?"
"oh narcissi absolutely"
"well fuck you. you sucked me dry and gave me nothing."
she started singing the song that was on the radio and dancing a little to it.
ever since he had mentioned dancing, it was like she was fucking Zelda Fitzgerald becoming a ballerina at 38.
useless.
but after Paris.
and narcissi so understood. she had told the robot and asked it to respond:
"I am so deep, I often feel that I''m mad."
"that would make sense. you''re in the minority."
she wondered if she could endure the beta band''s "she''s the one for me."
she decided definitely not and put dean blunt''s ''5'' on and tried to act cool.
did I see my shadow?
oh fucking yes.
it terrified me.
I had and have no idea how I''ll survive again if I get so lucky to fuck someone who I think is my intellectual equal and not be terrfiedly mad that he''s lost to me....
"Swear swear swear you really understand..."
he lied to her because he wanted to come.
rinse repeat.
she understood.
it was nothing new.
|
