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Rituals: wake up, make coffee, eat something, smoke, get on internet and live dammit live.
Last night, "All the Real Girls" was watched here in the gilmartin household. If I could ignore mark's sighing jealousy, it was quite fine - by the same team that brought us the 'george washington' flick. The theme was love - messy, unresolved, fuck up once and it's gone love - how you think it's the right track and the heavens are finally singing to you, and then they are most emphatically not (zooey looked just like sarah stephens in the end R&R - weird).
The commentary that I watched was illuminating. It was almost tiresome (and yes, I was a bit jealous too) to hear clever people talking and being real and clever. However, they did say that no relationship is ever over and that a passionate person always checks their email every day with a certain trepidation.
Perhaps it's a cop-out... vielleicht it's depression; however, I feel rather obligated to remain where I am until my spouse gets a job. I must contribute money to the kitty so that he can last up to the next big film - or any job. Then, there is perhaps my fear of the cliff - and the jumping. But no reader, I think I am ready for a room of my own. However, I will have all the time in the Welt to hole up alone, so it's just doldrums - waiting for the tradewind.
Any wind will do.
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