Went on a walk just now. I had to get out of the house. I had to see the sea. I had to roam and advertise - troll for you. In lost angeles, you never know. Ah true, in life you never know.
You're not gonna get me through this are you?
The twenty albums I cited are a bit for crap. by the way.
I lied. This will prove it again.
I saw your car twice today (your old car). I don't go looking for you - I don't stalk you. I probably would had I more information. I only stalk you when I'm low. I didn't even put cracker in the twenty. I didn't even put wedding present. Did I put Bone Machine? are you still jumping out of windows in expensive clothes and etcetera.
Regrets? I've had a couple of million. It's more likely that I'll get hit by a car tomorrow than I'll kiss you again. I pass that corner on the way to jane's house most every time I go to the sea, and I think about that time you were in the desert and I invited you for a drink. It was the 29th of some month, and I laughingly said it was our anniversary - but at that point, you wouldn't have looked at such a statement lightly - not from me. I was in the way - I was enthralled and bewitched and fucking stupid and totally into my own fantasy. Once again, I was playing two horses and desperately pushing to see if it was worth the gamble.
I was in a hurry. Shit would have to be moved and rearranged were I to pursue you, and I had to know your intentions in a fast way. The potential of it all.
Baffling that I still think of you - that I still have you in here. It's shameful. Every once in a while, I will be walking past the pavillion's on montana and remember when I was walking past there with ricky hix. For some reason, I remember the rows of newstands distinctly. He was good fun. I liked him. I thought you were all quite fun. For some reason, I usually walk when the the bats would come out back home. This affords a good peeping thomasita look at the other people sharing my planet. I heard a group of boys talking like the boors that most of them are - about sports and the cops and getting drunk. I remember you said you hated sports. I like that.
There weren't many people home. It's a saturday night here, and I suppose many go out and do things. A dinner party - a video game playing - pleasantly, not much flickering blue. Go humans. Roar on.
It is a pleasant walk here in my neighborhood. I have decided to call home wherever I am. I haven't been to my apartment where I pay rent for a week. I'm sure it's a bad habit, but it's too late for that at this very instant. I am where I am.
I walked through two tendrils of spider web strands. It was their first jump across the sidewalk I'm assuming. Bless their hearts.
I decided emphatically that I will write you happy birthday on your birthday. I don't think it will freak you out.