I want to be so in love that the reason I have a kid is to express this love and make a product of it.
I will only have one kid. My boy will be an only child. He will not be adopted. My gene pool must go on. I want to see if he has my eyes, my diseases, my grandfather's height... My lover's chin. It would be the most fun to see what the genetic lottery brings him. So far, this has been my only reason for having a kid - to see what it would look like - and be like - to see myself reflected in the kid.
My boy will be named George Hugo Earl Uther Daniel. His initials will be somewhat clever and spell something. In this case (since he doesn't have a last name), it will be an irish version of good. He will be able to choose his own moniker from that medley. He will be super smart, and he will love his fucked-up mother fiercely. He will write stories about me and tell me the funniest things and we will laugh. I will grow exasperated by his questions and be annoyed with him from time to time, but I will always be honest with him. I will try and show him the pageantry of the world. I will be beautiful for him and create and be a fully realized person.
I don't know what his father will provide. I will leave that blank.
His father will be much younger than me. No more than eleven years. Hugh will only have old people on his mother's side of the family. His maternal grandmother will be 72 when he is born. His maternal grandfather will likely be dead (as he has ravaged his body from his living in the moment). His youngest cousins will be seventeen when he is born. His oldest cousin will be twenty-nine. I'm not sure whether he will be close to his cousins in the traditional way. They will serve as aunts and uncles and stories for him.
Hugh will have friend cousins. He will be part of an urban family with lots of kids.
His father will give him younger family people to frolic with. Hugo's paternal family will be with him a long time and give him many cousins.
Hugh will develop strange interests when he grows up. We will travel a lot. We will volunteer and write letters to the government and newspapers. Hugh will go to public school with the rest of the poor people - the averages. We won't be snobs. We won't leave the greatest opportunity for us citizens to rot and be further classified. It will be hard, but we will be committed to our belief. Hugh's father and I will be part of a group of parents that give teachers the freedom to teach - and make school better for all. School is very important - but mostly for a social thing. I learned most of what I know from reading books. Hugh will to - if Hugh wants to.
He will love to read. His grandmother will read to him all the time. His step-grandfather will teach him how to build things. On my side. His twin cousins will dote on him. All will think he is adorable and valient and funny.
Unless he isn't.
Hugh won't be shy and fearful of everything because his father and I won't be. We will have solidified our relationship for three years. We will have done everything a young coupling needs to do. We will show Hugo what love is. We will always go the higher route for Hugh... or we will certainly die trying. His father will love me. I will love him. We will kiss and go off by ourselves on travels. Hugh will sometimes go with us. I will take my son camping. We will look at the stars, and I will teach him to dream and see poetry. He will fight for the plight of the earth. He will fight because his father and I will fight to protect our son's world. Hugh will make us care more than ever about recycling, world peace and exchange, culture, freedom, trees, air, oceans, water, equality.
We will call Hugh our baby boy. We will kiss his feet that smell so good. We will feel that our child is the most special thing in the world, but that he is very lucky. We will not forget that Hugh is privileged. We will not forget that that is not fair.
His mother will teach him to swim. She will take him to see where she was born. She will try and show him where her mother lived. She will show him the river that she used to call the old muddy river when she was a child. She will teach him the real name - ocalmugee. She will teach him of Indians and his uncle Billy will too. She will tell him that he has Cherokee blood from both his grandmother and grandfather's side. She will tell him he is Irish and Scottish and royal to boot. He will laugh. My boy will laugh all the time. Hugh and she will catch lighting bugs and immediately release them after looking at how much they look like harmless bees with that bit of red on their wings. She will show him kudzoo. It will be hard to miss. Mother and son will eat barbeque together. I will take him to High Falls catfish if it still exists. I will take him to the dillard house. We might pan for gold if he doesn't think it's cheesy.