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Jealous
 
 



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post #183
bio: kristen
perma-link
8/11/2005
00:08

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Dutch Ultimatum
The Ludditette
Friday Party #347
The Wizard of Uz
Taking One 4 the Team
Leap and the Net Will Appear


Such an ugly word isn't it?

Je lass.




So I've become more of what I hate in these harrowing times of change.

It seems that the impasse has occurred - that time in every relationship upon which the bell of doom hath tolled - Mark and I will no longer be sleeping in the same bed. This will not occur again. It's like being kicked out of your mother's bed when you are a kid. It has happened to both of us.

Hard, slow, stagnant, crepulous, inching imperceptible growth. But a point has been reached. There is not half way about pregnancy - nor it's opposite.

I talk about work now in addition to my flaws o' many. It has become something that consumes me. I have to - by myself - take care of things happening - I have to be responsible. I have to babysit vendors. I have to schmooze clients. I have to do this uncomfortable stuff for me because the safety net is flailing.

and sure, I want it to. As a kid, we want to be grown-ups. We have no idea what it is. We just want to be like the more powerful amazing ones are.

Jealous.



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