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Four More Hours Until Rapture?

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post #232
bio: kristen

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So, I used to love that bumper sticker (I'm quite a one for slogans) that said "in case of rapture, this car will be un-manned".

However, this is a slight 'fuck you' to either myself or to the institution of astrology.

You see, not a fucking thing has happened. (Surely, I won't get berated for language as others have on this website, I'm an avowed curser).

All that, Mark your Calendar!!! OMIGOD, scorpio/flava martinez/kristen, this day is five fucking stars in the romance department... ALL OF THEM...
ALL of your dreams will come true today. So many great things. Your asshole will be singing zippedy do dah all the way home (I do love the movie 'vacation'). A day like this only comes around once every twelve years.

Fuck astrology predictions.
Fuck all of it.

After tossing around in the ole marital bed of old and dreaming about having to produce 100,000 freedom magnets with red white and blue stripes, I awoke at 3:30 am and had one of those looking at the clock periodically until 5am then going to sleep until 9am mornings.

Yeah, UN-auspicious.

THEN, I STILL have the yum yum yum of the belief. I'm thinking, dreaming about freedom and shit ain't so bad lassie, chin up "FIVE STAR DAY!" is happening. Let's roll!

So, I begin by taking a slightly crippled pug/pekinese puppy out for a walk.
Gorgeous day.

I will say that.

It was windy as a 'cane last night, but GORGEOUS GORGEOUS day today.

My problem?
I waited for this gorgeous day to come and knock on my door.

My problem?
Self-fulfillment prophecies gone awry?

My problem?
rule of threes bebe.

Sooooo, nothing happened on the pug walk. I went to the local supermarche and bought some soup (on sale whee) and wet cat food (mark left for the caribbean again at 3am). I have a fever blister and didn't have any lipstick to be found. In short, I looked more like shiite than normal.

What have you.

Soooo, then I got some coffee and waited. I even read the damn "FIVE STAR ONCE EVERY TWELVE YEARS" piece of paper again (my mother in law had sent it to me - my monthly predictions, so I had a hard copy of what I had of course read already on

The phone rang.


Mark calling to say that his 5am flight was cancelled and that it was 11am for him and the crew. Bummer. for sure. Then the other phone rang.


Him. Just a pissy garbled (cellphones bah!) convo with some dude I likely love. Should I have mentioned that TODAY WAS OUR LOVE DAY... FIVE STARS?

Would be sort of like mentioning that I love UFO sitings or somesuch. (Also recalled that the one he loves has a birthday that said paper revealed would be even a MORE INTENSE five star day. In fact, I think if you were born in October and were a scorpio, you were supposed to win the lottery today - just totally automatically, sorry to tell you so late...)

I read the paper again. Oh yes!

I waited.

I read. I drank my coffee. I thought about what a puzzle within an enigma he is.

I thought about how GORGEOUS it was outside.

I thought about how tired I was and how I wasn't really in the mood to hang out with anyone.



Drank some wine (always good for FIVE STAR DAYS).

Jane called.

She was lucky.

She suggested we get hungover pedicures.


We did.

It was the worst pedicure I've ever gotten, and my toes are purple polished.

Fuck astrology

Three more hours to go! I'm still a-hopin.

love you guys.

Do you miss me?

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