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post #441
bio: jen
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7/28/2010
14:59

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But It's Raining
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Dolphins Speak!
The Lost Star Wars Generation
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Rejected Facebook Status Updates

Sorry for being out of touch for ten days, but the Sunshine Jen writing staff has been busy.

Somehow, the facebook statuses we had been planning were leaked onto the web. We’ve been busy investigating and discovered that the leaker’s first name was Brad, so we had to investigate our intern Brad.

Anyway, it was all a big mess, but Brad did confess. Brad is still with Sunshine Jen by the way. He’s very necessary for those late afternoon coffee shop runs.

After capping the status leak, we decided to just go ahead with full exposure and post some facebook statuses we had rejected. This also took some doing since we had to dumpster dive the recycling bin. Fortunately Brad was up to the task.

So here are some Facebook Status updates rejected by the Sunshine Jen writing staff:


Sunshine Jen woke up this morning next to a generic celebrity and wondered if there were hidden cameras present.

Sunshine Jen was in London, is now is France, but she’s always wearing underpants.

Sunshine Jen The gulf oil spill is crude and unrefined.

Sunshine Jen is pretending to write. Let’s just keep that between ourselves shall we?


We considered a series of fictional statuses about fictional children:


Sunshine Jen is dealing with her teething son with scotch, lots of scotch, but she prefers vodka.

Sunshine Jen’s six year old daughter declared that she was over it. When Sunshine Jen asked over what honey? The little girl replied that she was over society’s dependence on computerized social networking for positive re-enforcement.

Sunshine Jen is trying to decide which of her sextuplets she would save from a sinking ship.

Sunshine Jen discovered her twelve-year old passed out on the front lawn this morning. Maybe it’s time for a chat.



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