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post #592
bio: jen

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Impatient Patience

You're so patient, Jen. A friend said sincerely after I had helped her with some internet stuff at a coffee shop last night. I thanked her and started to wonder if I am a patient person.

Now that I'm in my forties, I should know better, but I still get impatient about how long things take, how often I still want things to happen right now (this minute), how I can't enjoy living life all the time.

Then, I get impatient with my impatience and myself and my brain goes into a loop of negativity and I get impatient with myself for my negativity because I'm in my forties and I should know better.

In this new millennium, there's twenty-four hour news. There's the internet. There's convenience. I can look at kitten pictures twenty-four hours a day. I can get updates from friends I haven't seen in fifteen years. I can point and click and scroll. It all comes at me so fast, but I've been trying to control the media flow. I've been trying to slow it all down and live life at a walking pace. I want to sit and talk with people. I want to drink coffee and enjoy it.

As I was walking the big walk in Spain, I realized that looking too far ahead in the guidebook was overwhelming. All those miles with mountains and long roads were too much to think about. I had to just take it one day at a time, one town at a time, one kilometer at a time, one step at a time.

Back in the States, when folks heard about my walk, their jaws sometimes dropped like they were standing face to face with a Superwoman even though I'm just a human person.

How many miles did you walk? Folks asked.

550. But I didn't do it in one day. I'd say.

How many days?


I still remind myself that it didn't take one day to walk 550 miles. It took thirty-seven. I walked a little bit each day.

But I still get impatient.

So I take a long walk.

When life becomes a walking pace, fewer things have to happen right now this minute. I become more patient with myself. I achieve patience right now (this minute).

Maybe I was patient with my friend's internet woes or maybe I was just happy sitting and having a cup of coffee. Maybe, perhaps, it's just living life.

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