Happy July 1st Happy July 1! According to my pocket calendar, July 1st is the 183rd day of 2004 with 183 days still to go (this year is a leap year). My friends, we are smack dab in the center of 2004. Why sit and wait until the 4th, let's start celebrating now. We won't celebrate any particular event in the past. We will simply celebrate the passing of time, the neverending present, the now that we are now in.
Thinking about the passing of time, I also started thinking about the future. When I was in my 20s, I was obsessed with my future. It was going to be grand and glorious---a gilded age of accomplishment. Now, in my 30s, I realize that I'm just gonna grow old and die, so I might as well enjoy the sunshine.
Recently, I got to thinking about the whole growing old thing, and I tried to imagine what life would be like for my generation in the old folks home. Born in the early 1970s, I am a member of the slacker generation, the real Star Wars generation, the MTV generation (turn it on, leave it on, I want my MTV), and generation X. Hopefully, the Baby Boomer/Hippie/Yuppies won't have trashed the old folks home by the time we all get there. I figure we'll make it there around 2050 or so.
So 2050, and we're all in the Old Folks Home. We reminisce about the times before matter beam transporters when we had to get in our cars and drive everywhere or how we crowded into airplanes. We remember when we had to type on a keyboard to make our computers (gosh, they were huge) work. We send instant messages to our grandchildren who think we are so old fashioned and cute.
Thursday nights will be movie night. Half the crowd was able to recite all the dialogue to The Breakfast Club. However, the Star Wars night got a little scarey---some fans actually could speak Wookie. Another crowd favorite was Heathers starring Winona Ryder (oh, sorry, that's President Winona Ryder---you should have seen the spin her campaign put on the whole shoplifting incident---brilliant!). It was standing room only for Titanic, and there's nothing quite like the sound of stoned septarians singing along with Celine Dion. By the way, marijuana is legal in 2050.
Meals at the Slacker Old Folks Home are quite good. The majority of the residents are veggies, sorta veggies, or vegans, and the red-meat eaters do have a special menu for them. Popular nights include pizza night as well as sushi night.
The residents are pretty happy especially when the U2 cover bands show up. By the way, Bono did wipe out third world debt and won the Nobel Peace Prize. However, he sang his acceptance speech accompanied by the Edge on guitar. Apparently, the winners of the Economics prize were big U2 fans back in the day and tried to mosh with the winners of the Physics prize and pandemonium broke out.
Finally, there is no gravity in the Old Folks home. No gravity to make one slouch or feel heavy. Yes, the Old Folks home for the slackers will be orbiting the earth. Imagine floating in zero g---a whole new way of living life completely weightless. There will also be daily non-stop shuttle service to Newark for family and friends to visit. Yes, every room has a view, and sound proof walls, so you can play your music as loud as you want.
I might seem overly optimistic, and we probably won't have social security, but then again, you can't predict the future anyway. Not even Yoda can predict the future. However, if you think pretty good things could happen, well, they might just come about.