Reality TV My good buddy Jake emailed me recently about a new reality TV show on Bravo called Situation (colon) Comedy. It's about ‘promising young writers' trying to create a sitcom, and the producers are currently looking for promising young writers to not only write funny but to be funny.
Yes, the situation of the reality TV show is the comedy that the writers are trying to write and will hopefully in some way embody as they navigate through the jungle of sitcom production. As a result, the title of the reality TV show (that's uh Situation: Comedy) is a pun on the genre that the promising young writers aspire to write. Clever. Very clever.
But do we really want to watch writers writing? It's kind of boring. Honestly folks, not even my mother would tune in to watch me write words on yellow note pads. I can just see the ads now. This week, in a shocking new episode, Sunshine Jen writes in cursive with purple ink. Next week, her pen runs out, what will she do? So if Bravo wants a TV show about writing, I say bravo!
I do enjoy reality TV shows. I was into Big Brother a few seasons back, but I don't think I would last long in the Big Brother house. Probably after two days, I would be ready to get the hell out of there, so I would tell off the housemates while picking my nose and tossing the snots into a pitcher of lemonade. But then, watch, the housemates applaud my honesty and vote out the vegetarian tree-hugger from Seattle because she is just so annoying and stole someone's man.
No, I don't think reality TV is for me especially since I'm trying to turn my office job reality into a sitcom. Let me be clear. I'm not trying to write my office job as a sitcom. I am trying to turn the reality into a sitcom for the sole purpose of my entertainment. My one setback is that I have nowhere to put a live studio audience.
My office is sorta like M*A*S*H except we're not doctors during the Korean war, and I can't make homemade gin at my desk, and there are no wounded soldiers. Otherwise, it's just like M*A*S*H with a wacky cast of characters who wear olive green and do wacky things. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that I'm not in a nuthouse---I am only in a sitcom.
We do the usual office 3 Fs---Fone, Fax, File along with the 3 Cs---Copies, Correspondence, Collating and the 1 E----Email. Maybe it's the California sunlight, but my office seems worthy of becoming a sitcom reality. For example, on your birthday, you will be guaranteed one card (signed by everyone gosh darn it), birthday cake of your choosing, and Happy Birthday will be sung completely off-key.
My buddy Ted works in Reality TV. He recently finished work on one show and is currently looking for work as an assistant story editor on another show. Yes, writers can work in Reality TV. If it's reality, why need a writer? Well, the promising young sitcom writer can't just write a sitcom. That would be boring---too much like life---too real. No, there has to be a story---actions, conflict, revelations to keep the viewer coming back week after week. Besides, when they shoot reality TV shows, they have a lot of footage of people sitting around doing absolutely nothing. Someone's gotta watch it all.
Meanwhile, I continue to try to turn my office reality into a sitcom to keep me coming back week after week. Will the copier run out of toner???? Will the printer explode? And why is there mold in the water cooler? Tune in next week. Same office time. Same office channel.
According to one of my office co-workers, the statement about singing "Happy Birthday" offkey is inaccurate since we never had a key to begin with. Also, the mold in the water cooler is suspiciously similar to the mold in the kitchen sink. It's getting dangerous here.