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post #286
bio: jen
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1/25/2008
14:57

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Toothbrush Stimulation


Earlier this week as I drove around Los Angeles and burned some very expensive unleaded, I kept hearing on NPR about how the government needs to stimulate the economy. All the presidential candidates are saying the government must inject cash into the economy so we can spend spend spend our way out of a recession.

Apparently, the government needs to inject CASH into the economy NOW. Right now. This quarter. With all this economic talk, the two words I keep hearing are CASH and NOW followed by CHINA because all the crap we need to buy is made there.

There is some talk of senior citizens being the recipients of these economic vibrator packages since they already receive checks from the government. I say, just make it really simple, and give me the CASH NOW.

But really, who am I kidding, the US government is not going to give me CASH NOW. I’m an artist for christsake. I might make something they are offended by or (even worse) don’t understand.

Meanwhile, the earth keeps on turning, and we keep making and using plastic crap. However, I took my stab at global warming this week. I recycled my toothbrush.

It all started in Trader Joes. I needed a new toothbrush, and they had green toothbrushes. The toothbrushes were both green in the color sense and green in the global warming sense. I decided to try it. What the heck.

The green toothbrush turned out to be nice. The bristles were soft and the contours were sleek and user friendly. I enjoyed my green toothbrush. It even came in a plastic case that I could use when I traveled.

Unfortunately, like all great toothbrushes, its time in my mouth had to end. Besides, I had gotten a really nasty cold, so I had to replace it.

Fortunately, the toothbrush came with a website where I could print out a return envelope. So yes, I got to recycle my toothbrush through the mail.

Then yesterday, right as I was about to post this piece, I saw that congress had come up with a stimulation package, so yes, our government is going to give us money. It’s not going to fix social problems like providing housing to homeless people or buying books for schools. No, we’re getting checks. Why do I feel like I’m being paid off?

So what does this all mean? Should I take my CASH NOW and recycle it into something? Should I stash my cash under the mattress and not put it into the bank at all? What if nobody spends their CASH NOW checks? What if we all just save them?


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