Sparrowing is a fast-paced conversation between two or more women in which absolutely nothing of consequence is really discussed, and all the women give the same opinion with only slight variations.
I first noticed sparrowing several years ago when I first went to Ireland. At first, I concentrated really hard to keep up with the rapid fire words coming from the women around me, but I soon realized that what was being said was absolutely nothing at all. It was just this chirp-chirp-chirp of sound like birds, and I came up with the term, sparrowing.
This time, when I was in Ireland, I tried to play agent provocateur to the sparrowing, but I was foiled by my honey bunny who reminded everyone that I was a writer and that all of them could wind up in a play.
Sparrowing is actually too unstructured for the theatre. Besides, Beckett and Pinter, with their long pauses and silences, mastered the anti-sparrowing. Mamet tried to write male sparrowing, but his dialogue is too structured.
Besides, men can’t do sparrowing properly. They wind up sounding verbose, ego-centric, and lame. I’ve seen men approach a kitchen of women sparrowing, stand for a few minutes listening, then walk away befuddled. They might offer to put the kettle on, but otherwise, they were useless.
I have seen sparrowing in America as well. Even though I don’t consider myself a talker (and I made the mistake of admitting that once during a sparrowing session, big mistake), I can do the sparrowing. It’s actually quite calming at times, and all I have to do is inject the occasional oh really? and oh my goodness.