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bio: jen

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My Study of Ladies Toilettes in Rural Ireland

This is another post about my trip up the Shannon River on a 28’ sailboat with Honey Bunny (my significant other) and Slim Jim (Honey Bunny’s lifelong friend).

As the only girl on a boat with two boys, I had to be aggressive about using the Ladies Room whenever we stopped. Fortunately, there were plenty of little towns and places to stop along the way.

On the morning of the second day, it was still rainy and crappy. I washed up in the Tarmonbarry Ladies Room which had some interesting graffiti (something about six inch cocks and all sorts of positions) on the back of the door. I wasn’t repulsed. It just seemed terribly amateur.

That morning, I decided that I would be fine if I could just wash my face and brush my teeth every morning. Yes, I was going up the river into the heart of an urban girl’s darkness.

As we traveled on, I was impressed how many stops had toilettes right next to the dock. They were nice buildings with flush toilets and soap dispensers. Some had automatic handwashers with soap, water, and hot air all in one machine. You wouldn’t have to move your hands. It just knew when your hands needed to be clean. Now that’s important technology.

Sometimes, there were even showers, and in Boyle, Honey Bunny and I borrowed Slim Jim’s point card to take showers. Honey Bunny apparently had a giant spider in his shower, so he had to do some negotiating. I had a spider-free shower, but the stream of water only lasted a minute so I had to keep punching my shower.

Pubs were bad places for ladies toilettes. Even though they were always super clean and nice, they also tended to be cold with windows wide open. When I mentioned this to the boys, they explained that the pub wanted the ladies to do their thing quickly, so they could go back to the bar and drink more.

I think pubs have it wrong when it comes to ladies toilettes. Now true, most pubs still serve as havens for men to get away from the women folk. I know I got a few looks when I showed up with my boys (how’d that one get two men? Some might have wondered), but still we ladies like a little a comfort. We won’t take that much longer if you close the windows, and we might desire a cold beverage when we get out.

This paragraph is for the ladies only----Before I left for Ireland, I read in the New York Times about women military personnel using a simple cup and tube device which enables girls to pee like guys. Always wanting to be prepared, I ordered it online from REI and took it with me on the boat since it was light and didn’t take up much space. It turned out that I had to actually use it one night when there was no toilette. It took a second to get the aim right, but I was able to pee standing up. Yes! Success! I didn’t mention this success to my male traveling companions. I didn’t think they would understand my joy.

Anyway, moving on. . .

Hotels were much better than pubs because their ladies toilettes were usually warm with spacious stalls. Sometimes, music was even piped in. I highly recommend the Ladies Room at the Shannon Key Hotel in Roosky. It was clean, bright, spacious, and warm. Also, they make a good latte.

Yes, I have good memories of Rooskey although on the morning of our last day, as I was walking past a bunch of big rental boats, I noticed a big fat man standing in a window and looking out at the river. He was wearing only a brown speedo as he surveyed the river. Most of his stomach flowed over the top of the speedo like fresh-baked bread flowing over the side of pan.

As I walked past, he continued to look out at the river as his hand went down into the speedo. Uuuuu! Ick! Guys, please, if you are of a certain age and girth, it’s time to retire the speedo.

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