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post #429
bio: jen

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I'm Allergic to Los Angeles

The news informed me that the pollen count this year is the highest that it has ever been, and I believe such news. My throat has been constricting and itching and hacking for five days now, so I apologize if I don’t sound like my usual self.

Los Angeles is usually in a constant state of bloom. Because there are no big seasonal changes, something new is always bursting open in all its pollinated glory. Usually, if something bloomed and made my throat itch, it would be gone in a day or two, and I could go back to my usual LA mellowness.

Now, after five days, I’m sick of downing honey cough drops while being doped up on antihistamines. Fortunately, it looks like there’s some rain in the forecast.

I didn’t have allergies as a kid. I had no food issues and could even walk through a patch of poison ivy (which I did once at summer camp) without a rash or a bump. I was pretty adaptable to the natural world.

So why now? Is this excessive pollen yet another sign of environmental change or an indication of a bee shortage? Why here? Why now? Is it a sign that Los Angeles, lovely Los Angeles, is telling me to move somewhere else? Maybe I should just go out on a boat away from all the plants.

Oh really Jen, please cut the melodrama. That’s the Sudafed talking.

Yes Jen, whatever you say. (Does anyone else talk to themselves when they write?)

On Sunday, I dragged my flem filled self to a play reading committee meeting. Yes, I am on a committee that reads plays which is much nicer than being on a committee that writes plays. Even though I pounded back the green tea, my voice was shot an hour into the meeting, so my opinions and ideas came out of my mouth with all the eloquence of the mating call of a toad. It was a struggle. Oh, it was a struggle.

Since then, I’ve been surfing the web for old school allergy remedies. I found a preventative one which suggests eating locally produced honey to build up your tolerance to the pollens.

Maybe I should become a beekeeper. . .on a boat. . .with a small stage for play readings. In the meantime, I welcome any simple allergy remedies.

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