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post #31
bio: tim
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12/2/2002
12:59

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'I've Got Something Brand New (for that ass)'
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To gather or collect swiftly and unceremoniously; grab

Monday, December 2, 2002, 10:30AM 11:47AM


Qualitative descriptions of meeting participants.

Meeting participants are numbered 1-9 as they appear at a rectangular table, counter-clockwise beginning at about the ten o'clock position.

Description includes: clothing (visible), hair, possibility of owning a mall suit now and in 20 years, gross physical categorization, ability to talk on and on about really nothing at all (scale 1-10, with ten being the highest), mammary gland containment device to nipple ratio. All values are in order as listed above.


Meeting participant #1:

Red suit jacket, white turtleneck, burnt-orange-reddish-rusty looking nail polish; blonde, shoulder length; 90%, 100%; petite; 10 (hide, walk the other way, act too busy to talk if #1 comes to chat); 2:2.

Meeting participant #2:

Yellow sweater, yellow and white hair scrunchy; dirty-blonde with single pony tail; 50%, 70%; full through hips, chubby; 1; 2:2.

Meeting participant #3:

Gray cable-knit sweater, scarf (gray), long, black skirt; blonde, shoulder length, shorter in back than in front; 0%, 0%; petite, skinny even, not excessive, almost the perfect amount of "back", yum-yum; 1; 2:2.

Meeting participant #4:

Tattered jeans with nickel-sized hole in crotch, right knee severely worn but not torn, brown/green sweatshirt with holes around neck (3); brown/black/gray, greasy, longish, curly (wavy), possible but as yet unconfirmed bald spot formation; 0%, 100%; tall with near Superpower-like jawline, slight belly. Think Superman (comic book not Reeves) with a nearly undetectable paunch; 4 (but never in a boring way); 0:2.

Meeting participant #5:

Plaid flannel shirt (Lumberjack), sleeves rolled-up; short and brown, slight recession of hairline, 0 sideburn length; 0%, 20% (but only in the house); burly, strong, manly, surfer/runner/possible biker physique, cut, six-pack abs, probably does sit-ups daily; 2; 0:2.

Meeting participant #6:

Long-sleeved shirt with frilly stuff at the neck, small flower pattern on sleeves, light brown V-neck button and sleeveless sweater vest; reddish-brown and short, puffy, poofy, may include a daily regimen of hair spray. Hair never really seems to change shape, yet color changes almost daily; 0%, 60%; skinny, medium height, flat butt, doesn't walk so much as glides around, very low up and down movement during locomotion; 7; 2:2.

Meeting participant #7:

Long sleeve plaid shirt (polo style), sleeve cuffs and collar are matching color, could be either blue or black depending on your definitions. Brown cords with a very narrow cord wavelength, more akin to the grooves on a "vinyl" or "wax" record than to anything else; black, short, shaved sides and back, straight; 0%, 0%; solid, low body fat, but not built or overly strong looking, 5; 0:2.

Meeting participant #8:

Gray cable-knit V-neck sweater with gray turtle neck. Cables are wider than the other gray cable-knit sitting between #2 and #4; bald on top = 80%, sides and back are intact, forehead clearly visible; 0%, 50% (long distance driving or Christmas day only); hokey-pokey, could play Santa with slight modifications, a thinner Pillsbury Dough-Boy, similar to #4, except no mistaken identity for Superhero body language here; 6; 0:2.

Meeting participant #9:

Brown long-sleeved top too busy to accurately describe. Most likely purchased at Talbot's or Belk-Leggett. Not bad, but not something you want to fondle or caress; long, brown, shoulder length +; 0%, 15%; tall, skinny, size 0-2, but thinks she is a size 4; 5; 2:2.
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