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post #86
bio: tim

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'I've Got Something Brand New (for that ass)'
Watch How the Zombies Scream (it's the crack)...
'tis Spring and your Mothers Cry
Mama Sang Tenor
Not Even Close to Being on Topic
To gather or collect swiftly and unceremoniously; grab

Not Even Close to Being on Topic

There is a new lamp that just tonight moved in to the house, and it is causing quite a commotion.  First of all it may be a high maintenance lamp in that it did require some assembly.  And I just don't do high maintenance.  At least not for very long.  But now that it has taken on its identity and actually become what it was designed to be, the maintenance issue has dropped away.  This is not to say that my possible future anxiety surrounding the lamp is lessened any but just that the surface has now been scratched.

For some background information, I can offer that I have recently added lamp fetishist to my growing list of very specific other fetishes and needs.  Light fixtures could also be included in the general realm of this particular fetish for lamps, even though technically they should be on their own.  Much like a leg/pantyhose fetish or a shoe fetish or a foot fetish may seem like they all belong in the same general vicinity of one another (if for no other reason but for the sheer mechanics and anatomies of it all) but - that said, these three para-sexual fetishes have about as much to do with one another as milk and lemon juice do.  And so it follows with lamps and light fixtures.

I was going to list 11 things about the existence of the new lamp which are causing me anxiety but I think this will all be solved with a low wattage Edison style light bulb and a corner where the lamp can really stretch out and keep some floor space from suddenly taking flight.  I am resolved to give the lamp privacy and a little breathing room and we'll see how this relationship evolves.  I have just now realized that I never really got in to what it was in the first place that made me see the lamp in a less than perfect light (an honestly unintentional play on words that I am seriously considering just rewriting).  This might take a while and for now it will have to suffice to say that the lamp looks to have a personality to it that isn't going to take any shit, and might want to make some changes.  I am hoping it will behave like a gentle giant, much as Andre the Giant was and not like a short dictator who has something to prove to the world at large.  Given the stature of the lamp, I am optimistic of the former.

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