sorry I've been so chaotic lately. In fact, I almost started crying again (okay, i did start crying again today) when I was with my Dad. He helped me figure out my taxes and get them all filled out. It was kinda sad looking in retrospect at how hard I worked at my job and happily-sadly finding out that I made so little money that I got all my federal tax refund back, plus my state one too. I guess it's good, but it made me feel like I'm trying to bail out a sinking canoe with a paper Dixie cup. Anyways, he got me my USB drive--I will make sure to write him a thank-you note--that will come in very handy for my Graphics Design class. Plus he got me lunch--turkey breast, gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing, plus a piece of carrot cake. I think my stomach has either A.) shrunk or B.) gotten used to primarily carbohydrates, or something, because like that one time I saw "SURVIVOR" so long ago (the episode where the guy is salivating over a cheeseburger, wins the contest, and gets the cheeseburger, then ends up running to the bushes a short while later to get sick after eating it) ...well, I felt that way too. Anyways, my tax rebates combined will be about $300. I was talking with my Dad about using it to pay my $600 debt to Cingular, and it just escalated (or degenerated?) into an argument with me saying that if he could help me get just a small, small student loan, I could pay off the rest of my debt and do better in school and not feel so bad. It was an effort. I hope it pays off and my Dad lets me get a student loan, because it would be free for him and it would basically save me from going to the sanitarium (due to mental breakdown, physical breakdown or a combination of the two).
BF has a job interview today. I really hope it went well. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. We discussed it yesterday, and I said that if he promises not to quit his jobs and cause ME untold drama/havoc, then I wouldn't "bring home drama" from school/work. It would be a hard bargain on my side to keep, considering that Marquette is the mother lode of drama, but I would do it if I knew that it would keep our situation stable.
I am so touched and happified when people say stuff like I'm full of energy and hope and ideas. It helps me remember about that spark inside that keeps you going, and sometimes you forget that it's there, until other people remind you. I never forget all the kind things that people have said to me, like when my art teacher in Middle school said that I was a good artist and a good person, back when everybody else treated me like shit and I was starting to accept their opinion as truth...yeah, it means a lot to me. It's like a golden coal that keeps you warm inside.
Speaking of ideas, I just saw a National Student Advertising competition presentation for my ADPR class. It was really nice. But the thing is, that when I'm a senior, I just want to blow those other presentations out of the water. I hope I still am full of ideas in 2 years, because that would rock.
I hope you are all having a nice day. It is freezing cold but sunny outside in Wisconsin. My stomach is still hurting from eating so much. But I have to finish my powerpoint presentation, and I am going to try to force myself to work on my ENGL 173 midterm questions, even though it's painful for me because I am so tired of chewing and digesting and excreting papers on these books like a demented termite...