My 4 day drinking bender
OK I love my new job. My only complaint is that I work a 5-day week followed by a 6-day week. Last week I worked 10 hours on Sunday, 11 on Monday and 9 on Tuesday. By Wednesday, I was a bit cranky. I was going to be without my drinking partner in crime (Tricia) this weekend (she was going home to TX to go to the Fry Street Fair). I was really looking forward to a night out and to the long weekend needless to say, I had many many cocktails these past 4 days.
Wednesday night I met up with an ex-coworker (I found out she is living close to my hood), so we went to this yummy Indian restaurant near my apartment. Afterwards we went across the street to the Monkey Room for some drinks. Her husband and a bunch of her friends that live in the neighborhood met up with us. Among her friends was this girl named Jill who apparently was the center of major fun. I didn't stay out too late cause I had to work in the morning but since we are all live in/near the hood, we are going to try to meet up regularly. It was weird being able to walk home from a bar. I hardly ever hang out in my own neighborhood. I need to do that more.
Thursday at work, I was still a bit cranky. I think that is why my boss decided that we needed an employee appreciation night out. The division I am in consists of ALL MEN and me. The company's main office is about 8 blocks away and is also occupied by mostly MEN. I had gone out drinking with them the week before so I sort of knew what I was getting myself into. (Advice to all you ladies don't rave how much you love dirty dicks around a bunch of men.) Anyway, 3 top dogs (2 of whom were at one point my boss) arrive at the bar from the Yankee game completely wasted. I got stuck talking to my first boss for like an hour and he was saying some very nice things to me about how everyone is pleased with my work and how much I have accomplished in my career. I don't take compliments very well and I felt a little awkward, I needed one of my co-workers to save me. Many beers and vodka shots later people started leaving and it was down to just me and about 3 others. I was very drunk and somehow the topic got around to the fact that I could fit my fist in my mouth. Mistake #2 ladies take note! The next morning I decided I was not going to drink with those boys again. Well at least for 3 weeks because for the most part they are fun boys.
Friday night - just got paid …. My workweek is over HALELUJA! And well I just HAD TO continue drinking. I meet up with Tisha who has decided to begin her birthday celebration 5 days early. We went to the Russian Vodka Room and there I found out that 3 apple martinis is my limit, not 4. By the 3rd martini, I could no longer feel my nose and upper lip; by the 4th, my face was numb. I think I switched to Stoli tonic and lime after that like it would help. My friend Toma showed up for a while. She works for BIC and had some pens with her. I grabbed this cute small purple one because purple is my favorite color (I am mentioning this because it comes into play later). I barely remember getting home that night and was wondering if I even paid for my drinks … AH GOOD TIMES!
I had to get up at 4am and drink 2 pints of water then again at 8am I guess this drinking thing is finally catching up to me. I spend Saturday sleeping, drinking water and popping Excedrin. By 6pm, I was ready to go out and drink some more. I met Tisha and Natasha and went to Tavern on Jane for dinner. Afterwards we walked over to the French Paddy for some drinks and 80's tunes. Tisha claimed she wasn't drinking after the night before however after downing 2 sangrias she changed her mind. A few friends showed up and all of us headed down to the Nancy Whisky Pub. My friend Johnny bought me this book and I swear it's like a book about my life the NWP is even in it. Barry was delighted to see us since the place was not so crowded. Matt said it was because the Catholics were home boiling a ham for Jesus. Matt's a funny boy. We all found a spot at the bar and once the new bottles were put into the jagermeister machine we all began "research." AH, RESEARCH!
Barry is not only the best bartender he is also the cruise director at the Nancy Whiskey Pub and tends to introduces everyone that is standing near each other. I am not sure exactly what I said or did (I know it couldn't have been bad at all) but I had another 20 something call me an asshole. That is 3 times now in the span of 2 months. What the hell is wrong with these sissy ass boys? I know I can be a bitch sometimes but an asshole come on now.
These particular dumb drunk 20 something boys were really cracking me up. It was around 4:30 in the morning and at our end of the bar it was just me, T and these boys (Rob and Chris). They were all over Tisha. Rob kept asking if T would swap shirts with him. I stopped talking to them because hey isn't that what assholes do. Eventually they get on the topic of how they would please a woman at that point I had to whip out my new purple pen and write down some good quotes. They were saying some wacky shit like: "business down there – it's a food group", "I'm different I don't like mine, I like hers", "Rev that engine", "Then you get her primed and ready", "I eat pussy that is what I do. Making a girl happy that is what it's all about", "I like to set up shop when I'm down there. Have your internet set up over here, coffee over here and just go at it all night long" and one compared it to cottage cheese while the other said, "no man its' like two pieces of roast beef." WTF! (Advice to all you men never talk out loud when you're drunk. Try and keep your inner voice inside.) T is cracking up at these boys while I realize the pen I am writing with is a GRAPE PEN. I started sniffing the paper like it just came off the ditto machine. I guess it meant I was way drunk and needed to go home.
I took a cab home (I can do that now that I have a job), and saw the sun come up and listened to the birds chirping. I spent Sunday relaxing about and getting ready for my new week at work. I got a call from T around 4 in the afternoon and she said 3 words "on the wagon" I said 2 "hell no." However, I'm going to try and be good and save this weeks drinking for Friday night where I am celebrating more April birthdays.
Oh and today, my mother boiled a ham for Jesus.