New  »   Post-Modern Drunkard  ·  Sunshine Jen  ·  Robot Journal  ·  Poop Beetle  ·  Gator Country

all comments

post #161
bio: kelly

first post
that week

Previous Posts
One hundred
2012 update
keeping up with the young folk
I have a crush on you.

Favorite Things
· water
· Lindor Dark Raspberry Truffles
· frightened rabbit
· Life After Death by Damien Echols
· bad sitcoms with laugh tracks

My Links
All You Can Eat NYC
The Clint Howard Show

«« past   |   future »»


I think the first crush I ever had must have been in the sixth grade. His name was Peter and he was the shortest boy in class. I developed this crush because I being one of the tallest girls in my class usually got to sit next to Peter for lunch. I had lunch with Peter for 3 years and just thought he was the cutest thing. By the time we reached 8th grade I had started "experimenting" with my hair and well with all the different color mousses I used Peter and his friends nicknamed me "My Little Pony". Thinking back now that might have meant something but I was young and naive. Last thing I remember about Peter is that night of the 8th grade dance (which then seemed like a min-prom) he looks so handsome in his little tux and spiky hair I might have a picture buried somewhere from that night I think my hair was going in the direction of flock of seagulls. Those photos will remain hidden.

After grade school I went to an all girl's catholic high school so my crushes came from the neighboring schools. The first one was a boy that went to Bronx Science High School (graduating class on 1987). I never found out his real name I just use to stalk him on my bus ride in the morning. I believe he lived somewhere near 181st street (I'm on 188th) and we use to take the same bus route to school. His nickname became The B.C. because all my friends thought he was a mess and looked like a basket case. I saw through his flannel shirts and messy hair and crushed on him majorly for 2 years. Last I saw him was in December of 1987 at the Saint club when I went to see the Toasters (happens to be the same day I spoke to Jon Cryer major day for me I must say). Since I didn't graduate from High School until 1989 I had to find a new crush. Second victim was Steve who went to the all boys school nearby (granted his school use to call our school "the pound on the mound" it didn't matter to me). If I was lucky I would see Steve get off the bus in the morning with his fishbone jacket and see him walk past our school to his. I never spoke to the kid and the last time I saw him was in November of 1988 at the Fishbone concert at the Ritz. I had a few guy friends that went to his school and for graduation they got me a nice 8" x 10" photo of Steve. I actually found it last January when I was cleaning out a bunch of old boxes. Looking back now I'm not sure why I was crushing on him.

By the time I was graduating High School I had been working my weekends at Tower Records on 4th street for over a year. At that time I had shaved half of my head and dyed the rest of my hair black and this is how I was for the next 5 years. My first crush on the job was this older boy whose name I can't even remember now but he wasn't very into music and he had a beard. I was 17 he was like 26 which I thought was so old at the time. And all I wanted to do was make mixed tapes for the boy. When he left the job I crushed on a boy that worked downstairs (again not remembering his name) me and my friend Lori (the nice one) use to call him and his co-worker the Franken-Brothers because they were hard core smelly punks that use to walk in like Frankenstein and go downstairs and work in receiving, schlepping boxes all day. Sad thing was when I was drunk at one of the Tower Christmas parties I told him that I had a crush on him ... well maybe I didn't tell him right out I did tell him that I watched him every week since he was in the opening theme song to MTV's 120 minutes (I'm talking old school days when Dave Kendal was just a shadow with a British accent). If you happen to remember that or have it on tape (like I do) he was the boy with the pink hair. I saw him a few years ago working in a bar in Williamsburg he cleaned up well. I had a few other cruses at Tower - I mean the turnover was rampant so when one left a new one sprung up in his place. Funny when me and my friend Jack would fight over our crushes we both had things for boys with beards.

While I was having these work crushes I was also majorly (and their goes my valley girl voice coming out again) crushing on this kid Ed at school. I say kid because he was 2 years younger than me. I first spotted him in the computer labs he was an engineering student I a comp sci student. I sat next to him his second semester in a religion class "contemporary moral issues" and was always in a group with him whenever possible. I must say, out of all the cruses I have ever had his was the one I still carry. Seriously whenever I would know he was anywhere near me I would totally light up. I would spot him turning the corner on the opposite side of the hall and I would just get all excited and happy and giddy and girly. If you knew me then you would have thought I was pathetic. His older brother graduated with me and I was totally going to make my move at graduation but because I thought the stupid cardboard hat was dorky (not the platform clogs or poets blouse I was wearing just the cardboard hat) - I had to run to the bathroom to take it off when I got back he was gone. I went back to College that winter for the 194 night party looking for Ed. I found him and talked to him briefly but he left me to go dance the electric slide. Now not that I dwelled on it for all these years but I have a feeling that Ed thought I was dating my friend Pat because every time he saw me I was with Pat. Pat was also a comp sci major so we had all our classes together. This is the story I choose to stick to because come on ... scampering off to dance to the electric slide kind of makes you wonder. I really would prefer now never to meet up with Ed and I like to keep this idea of how he use to make me feel. That is the feeling I want when I meet my husband.

But I have totally gone off the real reason I wanted to write this post. After working at Tower Records for 7 years I went to work for Wenner media for 7 years and had a few crushes there as well. One was this art boy Matt who didn't work at the company for very long (or maybe I hadn't noticed him at first) but he totally fit the profile of most of my crushes (aside from Peter) most of my crushes were tall boys with dark hair and either facial hair or some feature that just gets me. Matt was just all around cute boy in a frat boy (but not annoying) way. I bring him up because last Thursday I was having dinner with my friends at Rodeo Bar and crushing on a new waiter there made me think off Matt (only I couldn't remember his name at first). When Matt left Wenner for a better job (it must have been 1999 or something like that) his going away party was at Rodeo Bar and I remember getting real drunk and telling him that I thought he was just so cute that I wanted to bite him. He stuck his neck out and well I went in for the kill. Only thing is I didn't get a good bite with a little kiss like "hey baby" kind of way it was more like I hadn't had dinner and I am gonna get all Hannibal Lecter on you kind of way. I think I scared the boy. Now for the past 4 years I had eaten at that bar and never told my friends that story. For some reason thought about it on Thursday before we were going to quiz. Would you believe that walking into Rocky's I get called back outside only to see Matt standing there with his friends having a smoke before quiz. I hadn't thought of or spoken to him in over 5 years and mention him and within 30 minutes - there he is ... it was all too weird I must say. I am still a little spooked by it and now thinking I shouldn't have written about Ed at all. I want to keep my crush for Ed the way I had it in college. I am afraid if I saw him now he would be ... oh I don't even want to think the worst I want to keep my best crush, the one that made me all giddy and girly. Ed if you are reading this and you are straight, single, have no kids or do not want any kids and look exactly like you did in college then please leave a comment so I can call you up sometime.

«« past   |   future »»