The Summer Intern - now on Pay Per View!
I have been quite busy this summer - and by busy I mean drunk. It started sometime back in spring, when I was hanging out with an old friend at our new favorite local bar. Not so local for me as it is in the east village and I am living in the Bronx but it is one of those bars where everyone knows my name so I feel like I am home. The two of us just started hanging out with a new friend and on one drunken night we called ourselves the power trio. In my head we had a theme song and a TV sitcom intro that was very similar to Three’s Company. Sad I know but like I sad I was drunk most of the summer .... and then along came Tessa our summer intern.
Tessa, a good friend and young mother was looking for some fun this summer. Her kids spend their summers in South Dakota with their grandparents and Tessa’s only planned trip was a weekend down in the Caribbean with some of her girlfriends. She was looking for some fun and what better way to occupy her summer hanging with the power trio. This is how she became our summer intern. Again not so corny when you are drunk. (maybe you should do a shot now - just to maybe get you into the power trio frame of mind)
Tessa is a real stand up gal and loves to help out whenever she can. Great intern duties included goggling bar addresses and setting up pre-drinking parties. She also helped one of our friend’s establishment by copy editing their business cards and flirting excessively with her favorite bartender “dimples.”
The company that Tessa works for is currently going through changes and just last week she got to meet the new guy in charge. The big man in charge is not so big after all (well I am sure he has a big car or a big house – don’t most men with a Napoleon complex have that?). She dressed nicely that day in a v necked dress only to have the new boss man talk to her chest the whole meeting. I mean hello – did his neck hurt from looking up to people all day? If you are gonna stare at her tits all day boss man the least you can do is give her a raise or let her have an unlimited expense account. All Tessa is asking for is some Pay Per View bitch. Her tits are not for free … well unless you are “dimples” or happen to be down in the Caribbean the same weekend she was.
(ok sorry Tessa – I waited to long to write this and now it is late and not as funny as you probably thought it would be. Things are usually funnier after a few Raspberry Stoli’s with tonic and lime …. go have a few of those and read this again you might be rolling on the floor.)