1)The one where I tell you this sad but true story about this person I know who is their own worst enemy and no one has the courage to tell them about it. Everyone is able to sympathize that they know/love someone just like this. They cringe with the mixture of empathy and frustration. Then that person figures out it is them and tells me candidly how distasteful it was and how hurt they are and I feel terrible for weeks.
2)The one where I dish about work and the people I work with in a funny, satirical, quirky, and uncensored way, revealing the foibles and hijinx that could compromise my job security. But it is almost worth it for the laughs.
3)The one where I tell you about that time I was in my early 20's. And this guy. And we ___. And then we __. And then He___. And then I ___. And it is a funny retelling of a bittersweet exploit. And then you reel from too much information and I compromise my relationship harmony.
4) The one where I tell you about my family dynamic. Of the history that brought us to this place. Of my take on my role in all of it. I finish with an elegant treatise on how we are able to accept complete strangers for their flaws but we have a hard time forgiving family.
5) The one where I tell you what I am really afraid of.