Today is June first two thousand and five years after jesus died (or was born, I always forget). The space calendar has the 'egg nebula' on for this month. It is prettier than it's name, but then why malign eggs? They are beginnings aren't they (if properly fertilized).
I am in a calmer mood today. Things have been settled and things have been adjusted to.
Last night, I slept in our bed. We watched voyager's "favorite son" episode. I didn't take a bath as I should have - telling myself that I would get up a bit early and take a bath in the morning. I didn't do this. I will likely brush my hair with a wet brush and call it a do.
My house is calmer than jane's. cat energy versus hyper puppy energy. My french press coffee is much stronger than jane's space-age brew machine. My bed is lovely, and my husband is a world class cuddler.
This will all end. I know this. change.
I was arrogant and diffident yesterday. I rode on a wave or righteousness. Ach. The ball has been shot out of bounds from my court and it's hurtling towards it's landing.
I am full of shit. I tell you things from my point of view don't I? I try and impress you with my pain and strum.
No one but the great poets has ever felt pain like me.
What a laugh. As Morrissey says "everybody's lost"... as Westerberg says "everybody's sad and nobody's sayin'."
Oh sure, the sun was in his eyes. Magic was oozing out of my fingertips. Oh sure, he had listened to stink and got a reference. I throw these to see if they'll be caught.
Oh certainly, it would be quite pleasant to be in requited love. But, ach.
I've fucked up something important to me before. I put every card - every last one of them on the table - face up. I want all knowledge immediately. Only an ace or two up my sleeve.
But I am full of shit, and it's all in the timing.