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post #150
bio: jen

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Baseball in Ireland

Dear Baseball Fans in the Republic of Ireland,

How exciting to read in this morning's New York Times that Ireland has its own national baseball team. What a great thing!

I myself am a long time baseball fan. I love the game. I love watching it. I appreciate it played well. I love that it's a game of nuance and skill. I especially love that it is a game determined by how many times you make it home.

As baseball becomes more popular in your lovely country, I have come up with a few things you might want to know in order to enjoy baseball even more. I would like to ask my fellow baseball fans to chime in on the comment field.

First of all, it's a baseball game, not a baseball match. Please, call it a game.

A baseball game is made up of nine innings. There is no time limit to an inning, so a game can go on for as long as it needs to. During a baseball game, it's okay to get up and walk around and get a beer. Yes, you must eat peanuts at a baseball game. They'll throw you out if you don't eat peanuts---unless you have a note from your doctor.

Love your team. Yes, it's your team. Even when your team is the sorriest bunch of pussies on the planet, you will still love them. Even after your favorite player if traded away in a salary dump and your heart is broken, you will still love them.

Someday your team will win, and that day will be a joyous one. That day will live in infamy. Look at the Boston Red Sox. They were cursed, but then a group of self-named idiots rose up and vanquished the evil Yankees, then the Cardinals. It still brings me hope.

Baseball is a game about suffering and failure. A good hitter has a batting average of .300 which means that he hits the ball once in three at-bats which means he fails to hit the ball most of the time. A pitcher has to throw to a small strike zone, and the batter will walk if the pitcher misses the strike zone four times and the batter doesn't swing the bat.

When watching a baseball game, it's okay to question or boo the umpire even if you're farther away from home plate than he is. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes.

There will come a point where the game becomes unbearable. The pitcher is taking a long time between pitches. The batter keeps stepping out of the batters' box. This is a good time to do the wave. It's easy. Just stand up with your hands up when everyone around you does. Hopefully you won't get caught in the undertow.

Finally, Major League Baseball spring training starts next week! Woohoo!

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