At the Sunshine Jen News Network (SJNN), we take pride in being ahead of pop culture. We hope to be the bubble before the pop or the soda before the pop. We aim to be so damn hip that we’re actually cool.
On another Network, a quirky nostalgic clip show about the 70s, 80s, and 90s has started doing episodes about the new millennium. Even though we are only in the ninth year of the new millennium, there is apparently much in pop culture to be nostalgic about already.
Since the SJNN is the bubble before the pop, we’ve decided to look back at June, the month that was, the month that never will be again---until next year. Unfortunately, no one on the SJNN team knows photoshop, so we can only provide the text of the witty commentary.
Our three commentators are Thomas Joseph White (a dry comedian who has appeared on a variety of sitcoms and improv shows), Sherry Berry (a female comedian who also does improv and occasionally musical theatre), and Al Caps (his voice is so unique that it can only be displayed in all-caps, apologies from the editor).
TJW: June saw the release of Get Smart into theatres. It was yet another attempt to bring a classic sitcom to the screen.
SB: Steve Carell played Maxwell Smart, and uuuuuhmmmm, I love me my Steve Carell. He is hot in that totally average way.
TJW: And the Rock was in it, and he and Steve Carell share a very passionate onscreen kiss.
AC: I DON’T GET IT. WHY DO WE NEED A REMAKE OF GET SMART? WHAT GOOD CAN POSSIBLY COME FROM A REMAKE OF GET SMART? WHY WOULD I WANT TO PAY NINE DOLLARS TO SEE A REMAKE OF GET SMART?
TJW: Coldplay also released a new album, Viva La Vida.
SB: Oh, I love me my Chris Martin. I know he’s married to Gwyneth Paltrow, but he is hot.
TJW: It is usual Coldplay with keyboard playing, drum beating, and bacchanal dancing.
AC: HOW CAN YOU BE AN ALTERNATIVE ROCK BAND IF YOUR ALBUM SELLS MILLIONS OF COPIES?
TJW: I like Coldplay. It’s taken a lot of therapy, but I can say that and be okay.
SB: In June, the price of gas kept going up. It makes it harder and harder for a girl to fill her tank and maintain a materialistic lifestyle.
TJW: Not only is gas expensive, it also causes global warming, so I think we should just throw out our cars and turn the freeways into long tree lined promenades on which we can stroll to work. It might also wipe out the obesity problem.
AC: GAS IS EXPENSIVE, BUT GAS STATIONS ARE STILL THE SAME.
TJW: In June, Lori’s cat also had kittens.
SB: They were the cutest little kittens.
AC: KITTENS? KITTENS? KITTENS!
At this point, the SJNN cuts away to a long sequence of commercials advertising kitty litter among other things.