Some reasons why global warming is not a crisis. I could not wait, it seems, for the formal question to be asked.
1. The Earth is not just a place that we eat food, drink wine and make money. It is also a turgid, ever-changing reaction in motion. The myth is that we think that the Earth should be a static place. It is anything but. Volcanoes, extinction, evolution (yes Righty, evolution. Look at how you can't shake hands without opposable thumbs and then tell me that God just up and gave you those for free). Tell me what the weather will be in 10 days in one specific place and I will give you a million dollars. Hell, make it in five days. Even the pros fuck it up. And why is that? Because every thing that happens on this planet affects everything else and it is way too complex to predict with any accuracy. The whole butterfly in China bit. Gets me excited. Go read Chaos by Gleick.
2. Scientists will lie and cheat and steal and publish questionable results for money and fame. Sorry, but it is true. As a scientist, I have seen indiscretions when it comes to data. There is a lot of money involved in climate research. If your data does not support the funding hypothesis, well, you know. The good news is that it is all just talk. We can take measures to change this or that or not take measures to change this or that, and in the end, the Earth will have it's way. The Earth will win and the humans will lose.
3. And more on that. The population of the planet stands at somewhere near 6 billion right now. I like the fact that in this day and age of enlightened what have you, that we cannot with any real accuracy tell me how many people are on the face of the Earth at any one time. You would think we could do that. And so in another 50 years or so they predict, assuming that the trend stays the course, that the population will soar to something like 12 billion, give or take. And too, that is it, an assumption based on nothing more than previous data. How will the Earth solve the population problem? Massive disease outbreaks, storms, floods. How about the plates on which we ride around on suddenly moving around the ocean of magma to the extent that the Richter scale won't be able to begin to measure their magnitude. Deaths on the order of hundreds of millions. Make room for who is left.
4. Survival of the fittest. And yes, this has now morphed into a side conversation. I love survival of the fittest. Darwinism at it's finest. God did not create the heavens and the Earth. I'm not so sure a large explosion did either, but this is what we have. It's too clean that's why. Life is a mess. Chaotic, angry and futile. Trying to make it all nice and clean and disney is wrong. The strong survive. And this includes money. I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, but the world is out to get you. It wants to taste your blood. ok, not that sorry. The promise of a life unfettered by disease and pain is a sick one. You and me? We're going to be gone one day. And now to the dark side. A car crash, a disease, a murder here an moyder there and I dip you, and you spin me, and we'll see what is on the other side, yes? It's ok, it's not personal. Assholes and billionaires die alike. Presidents and Kings, the poor and the unlucky. If Jimmy Durante can do it, so can I. digress.
5. The news media is out of control with the spreading of fear to whatever end they seem to be working towards. Consumerism? Hell if I knows.
6. And on this, something that a math teacher once told us: always question the question. Not to just necessarily question authority, no, but to make the question stand up to scrutiny. Don't just take what you are given and say ok. Fools thrive this way. Question the motive, the source of that data. Especially the data. Especially your mom. If it can't pass scrutiny, then it does not pass. Lies are easy, the truth is hard. In my case, I seem to have a proclivity for both.
7. The planet is still technically in an ice age. We're at the tail end, but yeah. You've heard of these. Ice ages. They are when the place gets all cold and nasty and all of a sudden Florida is a skiing village. And, oh yes, these happen in a pattern and they were happening way way way before we were here burning fossil fuels and with the cows with the methane. Come on. The Earth is say for good measure 5 billions years old. A few ice ages in there. We people have been here for not this long. So just now on a popular internet search engine I type in the phrase: Human occupation of Earth, and the first link I get is what? Alien's occupation of Earth. Wouldn't that be Aliens'?
8. Maybe check out that "The planet is still technically in an ice age" comment I made. Sometimes I make stuff up to make my point. Not sure if you noticed. But anyway, it wasn't too long ago. And on the scale of time we are talking about, our lives are like a cat nap for the Earth. Maybe a drink of water. You know, the time it takes to drink water = your life vs. the length of time that dinosaurs have been Gone = 0.000000nothing? There we go again with the water. The point is, on a geologic scale, you and me shitting our pants over this global warming thing is insignificant. Especially when you consider that in say another few thousand years, people will be shitting their more modern pants over issues like, why is that cockroach talking on the phone, or, can I really get better mileage in my flying car by ejaculating into the fuel? Yes, as it turns out, you can.
9. Read the book by Michael Crichton, State of Fear. A damn fine read and well written and classic MC and better yet, he did his research, which is something I cannot attest to. And get off your fucking high horse fucking David Foster Wallace ass and just read it. It will take you three days, unlike assman whose treatise on addiction takes four months of obsessive madness. I do not differentiate the two. Jurassic Park, I know. Read it. E.R., I know. Read it. He has a lot of good points which are backed up with facts. It is a good opposition to the standard play that you hear all of the time, which somehow magically, makes it seem like EVERYONE thinks the same way about this, which is pure illusion.
10. Just because someone says it, doesn't mean that it is true. This is so often forgotten. Well, President Bush said it so I believe him. First off, for those of you who voted for that man are fools who should be sodomized with the US flag. And no, not oral sodomy either. The hard way. Well, Dan Rather said it so it must be true. Dan Rather reads off of a teleprompter, or, he used to at least. Sorry Dan. Stay strong! In lieu of a better closing I will just say nothing.