Bad Chicken: Happy Robot Treats!
Monday, March 5, 2007



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This blog is for all the fantabulous Happy Robot people who have welcomed me on to this site and for Mr. Happy Robot in all his delightful glory. Hope you enjoy this treat and that it fills your home with warmth and good smells. If it doesn't, well, you've probably been cooking them for too long and your goodies are no longer good.

This is a recipe for the best Choco Chip cookies ever. They're so awesome that whenever I make them I feel the need to knock on various neighbors doors and offer them some
right off the pan. I don't really know my neighbors that well so sometimes they look a little taken a back. It's possible they think there's something wrong with them. Maybe they don't like cookies or they just want to be left alone. Maybe, it's weird to show up at people's homes you don't really know and offer them treats.

It's amazing how being nice to someone can freak them out. In fact, I've found that if someone's being a real asshole, being sickly sweetly nice to them will pack more punch than punching them out. Their assholeness becomes that much more apparent to them. This takes all the fun out of being an asshole.

Anyway, back to the cookies...What's especially shocking is that these cookies come from a vegan cookbook, a cookbook so phenominal and with such easy recipies that they acutally make non-vegans like me into wannabes. This one is called "How It Vegan" by these very cool tatood chicks named Tanya Bernard and Sarah Kramer. I've revised the recipe just a little bit....cuz change is good. For those of you who feel squeamish around vegan food, I also have a recipe for deep fried squirrel if you're interested. I've yet to try it.

For the cookies you will need:

3/4 cup flower
2 cups rolled oat flakes (the quick cooking kind are best)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 banana
1/3 cup olive oil
1/2 cup maple syrup
1 tbsp vanilla extract
however many choco chips you want, the higher quality and the more bitter sweet the better (just like life). I use Giaradelli or however you spell that.

The How It Vegan chicks say to preheat the oven to 350 F. In a large bowl, stir together all dried stuff (flour, rolled oats, baking soda, baking powder and salt). In a blender, blend wet stuff: banana, oil, maple syrup and vanilla. Pour blended suff into the dry stuff in the large bowl. Spoon heaping tbsp of dough onto cookie sheet and press the sticky mixture with your fingers. Lick your fingers or better yet get someone else to lick them. Be sure to wash your hands well afterwards. Bake 12ish minutes until edges are browned.

Bonne Appetite!


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