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post #190
bio: kelly

wish list
first post
that week

Previous Posts
One hundred
2012 update
keeping up with the young folk
I have a crush on you.

Favorite Things
· water
· Lindor Dark Raspberry Truffles
· frightened rabbit
· Life After Death by Damien Echols
· bad sitcoms with laugh tracks

My Links
All You Can Eat NYC
The Clint Howard Show

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jobs I should have applied for

Back in the day I am talking 4 years ago now, I quite my job of 7.5 years. Did I have a new job, NO. Did I know what I was going to do, NO. Did I even care at that point, NO. I did however have a kick ass "retirement" party where I asked all my attendants to write a new job they thought I should pursue on a cocktail napkin. At the end of the night I collected all the jobs. In my drunken stupor I just tossed the napkins in a draw and never thought about them since. Well I must have never opened that draw because I only found those napkins today (that just sounds like I am a dirty pack rat I am not). Anyway here is the list of jobs my friends and ex-co-workers thought I should go for:

Pinball Technician
S&M Museum Guide
Swingers Club Madame
Pro-Golf Player
Professional Irish Dancer
Piercer & Home ec teacher
Radio DJ / Sex Talk Show
L.I.T. (Leslie in training)
Major League Pitching Coach
Court Room Illustrator for Judge Judy
Male Prostitute
Hooters or BUST
Porn Star with Dwarfs
Infomercial Spokesperson
Dancer at Scores
Phone Sex Operator
Knick City Dancer
Yellow School Bus Driver
Circus Geek
Maintenance for Porno (Clean up Sponge Girl)
Amish Strip Dancer
Heath Ledger Publicist
Radio Personality
Belly Dancer
Sandwich Maker at Subway
Kiss Groupie
Fish Head Cutter (in Alaska)
Call Girl for the Mets
Brew Master
Costume Designer for Call Girls
Talk Show Host
Nudist Colony Event Director
Event Planner for Dinners
Publicist for Bands
One Eyed Pilot (must wear patch)
Proctologist ASSistant
Bee Keeper
Bordello Owner
Seeing Eye Person
Pinball Champ
Cocktail Napkin Collector

I guess I know a lot of perverts. And just for the record I only actually tried out for one of these jobs but was told to practice my characters and come back and try again (I never did). Also I was a Cocktail Napkin Collector (unknowingly) for the past 4 years they will be in the trash tonight. Funny I find these now as I am kind of bored with my job and looking to do something different. Maybe I'll look into the publicity jobs Heath Ledger isn't doing much these days is he?

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