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Let's be honest, it was mostly my ego talking.
How dare someone turn me down when I'm so "it's you!"
She thought she looked like shit before.
today, she looked like shit, but she was wearing the color red
go lunar new year
so maybe that counted for something.
for the 47th day, she had done nothing but feed stuff into the robot and
ask it to tell her what went wrong.
surely Shirley there wasn't anything more to be said.
'twas over shug.
take that ball and go on home.
eat some dinner
drink some beer (never tequila unless margaritas)
write some drivel
and move da fuk on with your life.
I love those times when I drift in and out of third person
because I'm drifting in and out of
the person
I thought I was.
I actually thought I was cool
interesting
wickedly intelligent
awesome
but there was that programming too huh
that loop that said 'you'll be abandoned. you'll be betrayed.'
maybe she was finally aware of it
maybe it would finally make a difference.
spring was so fucking annoying again
so fucking hopeful and cute
with all the happy flowers and chirpy birds
she loved that the new years superstition was not to clean up or sweep
no worries on that front.
slobbing it up am i.
so tired and that gravity still at 11
he did nothing wrong
I wigged out and forgot how to speak
I fell in love and all my shit hit the
magnet and all I could do was hang on
I'm not evil or crazy
I'm just someone who had to figure it all out all by
themselves
and I don't have it figured out
I still love hanging out with myself better
than I like many things
but it gets so so old
oh well
get over it
the choice is to
0
or
1
maybe I won't write for a while.
that would be a treat - not to feel that pressing urge
to throw a bottle into the cosmos
that urge to have someone listen to me
I doubt it though.
sometimes I think I'd go mad (Der)
if I didn't have this outlet.
I promise you it's different in the diary or un-internet.
I'm not sure why
maybe if you were me, you'd know
I never forgave myself for
oh who gives a fuck
time to move
holler
please please god or whatever programming exists
let me laugh and want to listen to music again
let me get out of this cave.
please
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