The laptop which has been a solace to me for my tenure in new life, died last night. It won't receive it's juice from the energy source we call an electric outlet.
Before it died, I caught it at 13% power and dropping like a rocket (one that has finished peaking). I read my old stuff. I used to write a good bit in order to maintain my sanity. Only I didn't publish it into the great oceanic fabric of ones and zeros and sky beams and serving servers.
Some of it was good stuff and made me reiterate to myself that I'm a good person - not the boring delusional monster/saint I profess at times.
There were many dreams in it that I don't remember at all, and I am intrigued that I recorded them.
In April of '04, I dreamed of a temple constructed by the siamese to capture the summer solstice. This temple had blue diamonds embedded in the walls and was now overgrown with jungle vines.
Didn't you love the indiana jones thing where the stick's meters were corrected and because Indy was in the right space at prezactly the right time, he was able to commune with ancients and deads?
Solstice intrigues me. Perhaps it's why I named my column so. As I've mentioned, I had a brief delusion of being married in Louisiana on the Summer Solstice (most of the time June 21st). I wanted honeymeade served at my wedding. I wanted lightning bugs and a big ex-plantation (I was fascinated with the old south and plantations as a child - which may explain my willingness to lay down my life were I to see a black person being beaten by a white person).
I have never been to Louisiana physically. I have often been to Louisiana in my mind and in movies and books. I once met a lad from New Orleans, and it intrigued me so much I fell in love with him for half this reason. I have only dated one southern boy, and that was chuck from ages ago and he was from georgia - which wouldn't intrigue me much as I can't really cross-pollinate southern culturally with someone from my own tribe.
I've met many a north carolinian southern boy, and they have all been quite interesting. But someone from New Orleans - that would interest me greatly (of course this would be someone from there who hasn't lived there all their life. I would want an adventurer comme moi. Had I remained in Atlanta all my life, it would bore me to tears.)
Have you noticed that everyone has a connotation with Macon, Georgia (where I was born)? I doubt you would notice as you're not from there, but it's true. It's such a tiny dumb southern town, but people seem really interested in it. I have come to think - away from georgia - it makes me exotic. Just yesterday, some california cliche dude came in. We got to talking, and he asked where I was from (I don't really think I have an accent, but when I'm nervous, often it will come out I suppose). Upon saying Macon, GA - he said "wow, that's weird. I was just reading a book on zelda fitzgerald (ed. note - who wouldn't?), and she's from macon."
I corrected him of course in a gentle southern way... Oh, I had never heard that. I thought she was from Alabama.
- Maybe you're right. (and of course I am.)
I wonder if I'll ever go to new orleans. I wonder if I will ever marry. I wonder if solstice is magical as the pagans say. I wonder if I will drink honeymeade and howl and have "witchcraft" play as I drink and ponder with my friends on the longest day of the year.
I wonder if I will play U2's "longest day". I don't really like it tons.
Was this the longest post? Wait until REAL solstice.