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post #508
bio: jen
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12/5/2011
16:58

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I Am Not A Life Lesson


I don’t have kids. There are no little Sunshine Jens running around on the planet. I’m not completely repulsed by the little creatures called children. Some of my friends have made cool offspring, and I know to not offer them cocktails.

This weekend, I had a parent/child encounter that was so awful that it reminded me that kids can be little Frankensteins when they are made by mad scientist parents.

I work part time at a high end theatre. Performances at this theatre have hundred dollar tickets, but I can see them for free. Some of the people who work at the high end theatre are nice, but many are the kind of people who look you up and down and decide that you can’t advance their career, so they don’t bother introducing themselves.

This weekend, I was filing in the office off the lobby. I should mention that the lobby is made with expensive stone and is all architectural and meant to be photographed. The office off the lobby is just a basic office space with windows.

Some dude who works there but whom I have never met was in the lobby with his two young kids. I noticed them. I nodded and smiled. The kids were eating Mickey Ds. I went back to filing.

Coked up on Mickey Ds, the kids started running around the lobby as they got louder and louder. Dude daddy tried to calm them down, but the loudness begat screaming begat crying.

Meanwhile, I had issues of my own. The letter M was all out of order. Mas after Mus. It was an alphabetical apocalypse.

Then, suddenly, dude daddy was standing in the office doorway holding a little princess of about four in the middle of a first class meltdown.

SEE! THIS IS A WORK PLACE! THIS IS WHERE PEOPLE WORK! Dude daddy shouted at his daughter before he left the building with the girl and a little boy running after them.

At first, I was stunned, then I got angry. I wanted to tell him that I’m not filing for him to show his child what working people do, and that he annoyed me more than his children did, and I’m not in his village and don’t care about his kids, and doesn’t he know that sugar is in every food Mickey Ds makes, and who the heck is he anyway?????

Yes, I know that in today’s stressful world, parents are throwing everything they got into raising their kids. But kids are not the center of my world.

And I will ignore them most of the time.

And I will not answer their stupid questions sincerely.

And I will blog about them (and their parents) when they annoy me.


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